I lost my hat; and I can never get it back.

It was a beautiful day today when I woke up.

It wasn't so beautiful when I returned home.

Dressing up and putting on make up,

setting my face and smiling in the mirror.

I returned dejected and depressed.

I walked to town and bought a few things.

Walked a bit more and browsed.

Had my Lun-ner (lunch + dinner) at Yo Sushi!

And walked a bit more.

Shops close early on Sunday.

I wish I remembered that.

The wind was too strong for me.

Blew my skirt up but that's not the worst part.

I ran a pedestrian red light and my umbrella turned inside out.

When I ran far past the crossing, I realised I lost my hat.

I turned around and saw a man running on the road.

Grabbed my hat and waved at me.

I waved back and walked on home.

I couldn't even be bothered to walk a mere 10 metres to get my hat back.

And I just washed it last night.

I kept asking myself why.

Why and why and why?

And why exactly am I so bothered about leaving my hat behind?

It's just a hat.

Then I realised something that I didn't before.

That when I woke up I buried something deep in me.

And the layers of make up and clothes couldn't hide it.

I couldn't lie.

The front and smiles that I plaster on my face can't cover the pain within.

Losing my hat is like an analogy.

The picture metaphor of my life, my situation.

And my decision to leave it behind even though I know it's there waiting for me,

Just made me realise how much pain I truly feel.

No fronts, no smiles, no make ups, no clothes, no money can hide it from me.

I could have easily fooled any tom, dick and harry and even sally.

But not to me.

And the saddest fact,

on this ironic and sad beautiful day is,

I can never get my hat back.