The Gypsy Notebook

I lost my hat; and I can never get it back.

2011-02-06T17:34:00.000Z

It was a beautiful day today when I woke up.

It wasn't so beautiful when I returned home.

Dressing up and putting on make up,

setting my face and smiling in the mirror.

I returned dejected and depressed.

I walked to town and bought a few things.

Walked a bit more and browsed.

Had my Lun-ner (lunch + dinner) at Yo Sushi!

And walked a bit more.

Shops close early on Sunday.

I wish I remembered that.

The wind was too strong for me.

Blew my skirt up but that's not the worst part.

I ran a pedestrian red light and my umbrella turned inside out.

When I ran far past the crossing, I realised I lost my hat.

I turned around and saw a man running on the road.

Grabbed my hat and waved at me.

I waved back and walked on home.

I couldn't even be bothered to walk a mere 10 metres to get my hat back.

And I just washed it last night.

I kept asking myself why.

Why and why and why?

And why exactly am I so bothered about leaving my hat behind?

It's just a hat.

Then I realised something that I didn't before.

That when I woke up I buried something deep in me.

And the layers of make up and clothes couldn't hide it.

I couldn't lie.

The front and smiles that I plaster on my face can't cover the pain within.

Losing my hat is like an analogy.

The picture metaphor of my life, my situation.

And my decision to leave it behind even though I know it's there waiting for me,

Just made me realise how much pain I truly feel.

No fronts, no smiles, no make ups, no clothes, no money can hide it from me.

I could have easily fooled any tom, dick and harry and even sally.

But not to me.

And the saddest fact,

on this ironic and sad beautiful day is,

I can never get my hat back.

2 days to go!

2010-12-30T02:48:00.000Z

*drum rolls*

(in less than)

48 hours...

The year would be:

2011

and I will officially turn

LEGAL at 21

Draw the curtains!

Throw out the red carpets!

Here comes the sun!

As corny as this is..

I'm going to list my

(pathethically-sad-while-hopeless-hoping-this-year-would-be-different)

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!

Is there such thing as "Privacy"?

2010-12-30T00:24:00.000Z

A blog. It's personal isn't it? I write what comes from my heart and my thoughts. I write something that matters to me personally. And yet I want to retain my privacy.

Ironic.

So how do we turn something personal... impersonal? Where do we draw the line? With social networks, do we still have privacy? With this online journal, do I still have privacy?

The GypsyCity is a reference to my wandering mind and I promise to lay my soul bare-naked. But I don't want to be known. I want to remain anonymous. To only be known by those who matter.

If someone were to google this blog, I'd like that person to read and enjoy it for what it is... my writing. Not for the person that writes it.

I don't believe in sharing my personal photographs and intimate moments with the rest of the world. Those are personal. Those are meant to be written in a diary. Not in a public and international space.

Some people wouldn't mind sharing themselves wholly, exhibiting their lives to the world. But I do.

In a world where the boundaries between everything and everyone are blurred and the internet giving a free pass, I would like to keep a part of me to myself. I'd call it an element of mystery.

I'd say my Mini-Me picture really lookED like me (emphasis on the past tense. I don't have short hair anymore. But I'm to lazy to change it. I think the picture looks cute. ^_^)

I don't want to come off as pretentious and superficial. What you read is true. But it's not necessary to know my details to read my blog.

So why do I do this then? Well, blogging is a great to way to practice writing.. to practice expressing myself. A stress buster.

Hats off to you guys who dare to bare all and include the world in your lives as you expose yourself, almost in the form of nudity.

And to those who think that anonymous bloggers hide themselves because they're ugly, well, judge us all you want, quality writing does not require a physical presence but the presence of the soul.

The (long-awaited) Korean-Phase...

2010-12-28T02:12:00.000Z

*screams in frustration + pure joy*

What the HELL is wrong with me??! How could I be so SLOW?? Only now?! The last month of 2010, I finally caught up to the hype??

"AAARGH!!!"

Well, better now than never before. My sister and friends laughed at me after I gushed over the oh-so handsomely-perfect Korean actors and drool to their smiles in the dramas and searching frantically online for their latest in fashion.

True, the phase hit them years and years before me. Oh! But I'm so glad I finally caught up and realised the hype. Everything from their language, their food, their overreacting gestures, their tireless romance in their predictable dramas, the corny and cheesy lines they have to repeat... OH! I wish it could all just happen to me!

It's just that... the whole reason why korean dramas are a huge success is because the actors can really act (they're so professional.. unlike.. ehem. let's not name country names) and the female audience really like how the leading man always ends up treating the leading lady.

Courteous, gentleman-like, loving, caring, attentive, full marks on the basic checklist of chivalry. Sure, they tend to be rather clingy and possessive, but to be honest, that is sooooo sweet! I don't know about western girls and how they like their man, but as an asian, I love it. To have someone who wants you just the way you are... who refuses to share you (like.. you can't smile to anyone but him or no miniskirts) haha! I wouldn't listen to the guy anyway, I'd still smile to anyone I want but to know that he feels that way.. wow. To know that I am his and he is mine. Damn.

Okay okay, I'm going waaay ahead of myself. Maybe this is all a cultural thing.. How do they do it in Europe? What's dating like there? What's dating like in America? South America? Africa? How are women treated there?

(Current) Aim in life:

GET A KOREAN BOYFRIEND

(like in the dramas)

(Oppa! Oppa! Saranghae!!)

I don't want to be as skinny as them though. Most of them have no womanly curves to flaunt! Flat as a board front and back. Urgh. NO. I wanna be thin.. yeah. but not THAT thin. I want to have healthy curves ^_^ Anyway, the point here is to snag a daniel henney / gong woo / won bin.. why?? because they are RIPPED & FIT!

You might think I sound like a complete perv now.

Well a fan's gotta do what a fan does best = Drool + Cheering them on!

It's a phase.. I'll get over it in a few months... maybe.

For now.. *sighs*

And the few out of the great many...

Daniel Henney - My Name is Kim Sam Soon

Gong Yoo - Coffee Prince

Won Bin - Autumn in My Heart (a.k.a Endless Love)

Hyun Bin - My Name is Kim Sam Soon

Kim Sung-Soo - Full House

(RIP) Park Sang Min - Coffee Prince

Kim Jae Wook - Coffee Prince

Seducing Mr. Perfect

2010-12-17T16:31:00.000Z

The korean movie Seducing Mr. Perfect is absolutely cheesy, corny and lame. But that's what made it so cute and enjoyable! And GOD! Daniel Henney. I never knew that perfection could be summed up in one physical being.

Fun fact: The leading lady, Uhm Jung-Hwa is 10 years older than Daniel. I read somewhere in the WWW, that directors casted her because they want someone not-so-good-looking to attract more female audiences. In her defence, I think she's absolutely lovely and cute. For a 40 year old.

I think Daniel is just perfect because he is so down to earth and self-conscious (in a good way) about his surroundings... When he sang Creep for that korean tv show, you could see it in his face that he was a bit nervous but remained calm. And in this video below [Daniel Henney singing Diana (My Father OST)], you could totally see him losing his inhibitions and caring less about how he looks like and more of the fact that he's just like any other guy whose dream to perform like a rock star just came true and not the fact that he's one of the hottest man on earth.. . His singing sucks but that just adds to his perfection. It reminds us that he's flawed. His imperfection just made him Mr. Perfect.

After watching that video, my palms are sweaty, my heart's racing, butterflies in my stomach.. what does this mean? Could it be? Is it 'He'? And tell me you don't feel the same way after watching this video [Alex and Daniel Henney ft. Uhm Jung-Hwa - Kissing Me MV]

My desperation and addiction for everything Henney led me to pathetically google "Daniel Henney Girlfriend". He said he's very satisfied as things are now and he's too busy to date (well we all know that means he's seeing someone...).

"I like a woman who is proud of being herself. I like someone who can make her presence felt by others."

Well, when going to parties, stand by the door and wait for people to stare or gawk at you. Note to self: Don't get shoved by the person behind you.
Second note to self: Don't wear something that might make people gawk at you for the wrong reasons.

Here's a (googled) tip that might help in landing Mr. Perfect.

5 ways to Leave a Great & Lasting Impression

http://marketingdeviant.com/5-ways-to-leave-a-great-lasting-impression/

1. Handshake
2. Walking
3. Voice
4. Personality
5. Dressing

Or you could just do it as they do it in the movies.

1. Get a job as an assistant for some big-shot company
2. Find the hottest guy in the firm (no.2 should be no.1 just in case there are no hot men in the firm)
3. Get his attention by not getting his attention. Do something that just makes you stand out. (It's a risk and you might end up looking like a fool with a permanent nickname hence losing your chances forever)
4. If your trying-to-not-try-to-get-his-attention plan didn't work, quit your job and find a new firm. If it worked, well then, congratulations.. (and put in a good word for the rest of us lonely and desperate girls waiting for Mr. Perfect to his friends, k?)

drool on, ladies...

The Naughty Good-doer

2010-12-15T02:23:00.000Z

I feel so happy right now. Being the Naughty Good-er, Santa would definitely be too confused to decide which category I belong to. I'm on whichever category that Garfield is on.

Tuesday was a tutorial day and I conquered my fears of failure and rejection and faced my tutor anyway. We had an interesting discussion and I left his office feeling a little bit better than I did before. Sure I have a lot to work on but I feel better anyway for not skipping it all together. At least I got the feedback that I truly needed.

Since I don't celebrate christmas, I was thinking.. should I even buy presents? Hmm.. I might *wink*

So what's in store for me this christmas break? A trip with a childhood friend aaaaaand... work. An essay to write, events to plan, two design projects to tackle, all in a mere 2 weeks. Shit. I need more time.

I was thinking about the reasons why I'm naughty and nice.. I guess I'm naughty for skipping tutorials (2 Tuesdays; even though my lecturer didn't believe me. He said my attendance is patchy and believed I skipped more than just 2) and for spending too much money (shit. no comment on that).

And I'm nice because............ hmm... hmmmmmmm.......... (thinking hard) well, If I were to call myself nice, wouldn't that be considered bragging? Maybe that's why people prefer to call themselves naughty. Not only is it an attractive quality (c'mon. tell me you don't like that naughty streak), it's also kinda like a defence mechanism against the prejudices of vanity. Well all that aside, I'm think I'm nice because I'm accommodating. I'm not going to elaborate. It'll just be me justifying my pride.

It's 2 am and I'm still in the same clothes that I put on 12 hours ago + make up. I can feel my skin screaming. I have Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince streaming in the next tab... I wonder if I should watch it or go to sleep... Or read a book.

I'm hungry.

A (not-so) Bashing Day

2010-12-12T19:43:00.001Z

5 days to go before we officially begin the 3 week winter break. To be honest, mine began a month ago. High five to this procrastinating bitch. Sometimes I wish I could just slap myself silly. Sometimes (like this moment in time), I wish I had a machine gun in my hand and react the legendary Scarface moment.

"Say 'Hello' to my little friend!"

And right now, all I want is to bitch about something. It's so easy to be overwhelmed sometimes, and one of the ways I know in order to handle these kind of situations is to either be cynical, sadistic or both. And now the best way seems to be both. A knife, be it pocket, a meat cleaver, or even an evil-sarcastic-tongue, is more than sufficient to satisfy my soul. Beyond the vacant expression and forceful smile that I plaster on my face, the sadistic imagination of a cruel sadist lives and thrives within the "crying" soul of a dramatic fool.

I feel like bashing something.. I think I'll thrash that pathetic self-centred middle aged woman who wrote a disgusting story about how she wished she had two dangerously murderous men chasing after her. Not to kill her, but because they "loved" her. Honestly, to the so-called writer who can't even write and to these sad old moms of tweens who read & love the book: GET. A. LIFE. THAT. SUITS. YOUR. AGE. I know a middle aged woman who has 3 kids and keeps her life up-to-date with the going-ons of celebrities and twilight via internet. She was all over Taylor Lautner...Oh Please!!

PERVERTED PAEDOPHILE ALERT!

It's like she doesn't even have a mind of her own! It's like she's plastic and she doesn't know what to say/think/do except what the internet tells her to. What an embarrassment. Oh, and I can't stand the term "Teenage Angst" a.k.a Bella-stickupherass-Swan... I can't stand the so-called tormented soul that is Edward-farking-Cullen... If it were up to me (and a million other Twi-Hard haters) the best way to ease the pain of these wannabe Romeo&Juliet losers is to shoot them point blank between the eyes.

"Say 'Hello' to my little friend!"

God! I wish I knew how to kick box because I suddenly feel like beating up a stranger in the street. Be a street fighter.. The next Chun-Li. NOT. Well the idea is appealing. I am just so frustrated by everything right now. The tiniest things unhinge me and makes me snap and bite. PMS? I can assure you it is not. Well, I don't think so anyway. I feel like pouncing on a thief, hitting a criminal with a police baton, stabbing a murderer, stealing the wins of a drunk gambler, beating a boxer to pulp...

But instead.

I crumble. The pouncer falls short, the baton was a feather, the knife was an illusion, the drunk gambler went home a rich man, and I became the pulp.

Bitching Bashing Day didn't live up to the name of its day. As is usual with my life. I stand on the spot Mufasa did in the Lion King, and no sooner than when I did, I turn and leave. disappointed. angry. confused. God this is a horrible feeling. One that I can't explain through words. One that the gypsy city that is my mind and imagination could only fathom but never express.

My image of this would be me sitting with my chin resting on my knees as I stare into the distance of the sea, long after the happy couples and families with little children leave the darkness of the beach; Katie Melua's "I Cried For You" as the OST.

I don't make sense. And I'm not sure if I ever will understand myself. Even my blog is a jumbled up post of everything and one. Enough. This is depressing.

Ambition vs. Dreams

2010-12-10T00:24:00.000Z

(This post is like a friggin essay! WTH?! Heads up, these are emotions that have been bottled up for a long long time... so the length is only fair... though I wish I could write more! :P) After nearly 5 hours of sitting in front of my computer screen, I ended up feeling confused and yet excited. What lies before me is a plethora of opportunities; a window of chance; a chance for adventure.

To be honest, I am very ambitious but I am also an avid dreamer. And at times, that can be a problem as I focus my attentions on my dreams rather than my reality. My imagination swirls and like a whirlwind I just fall deep into my ideas of grandiose and how I stand in the centre of a pit full of mud with a brick in one hand and a shovel in the other. That doesn't sound very grand, does it? How about the image of me standing in a room full of foreigners and clients and in my hands, I hold the vital documents to the birth of a structure.. now that sounds grand...

Here lies before me is the opportunity to either volunteer or be an intern. I am not offered the opportunity but I am offered the chance to grab it. And so the problem arises. Should I follow my ambition or my dreams? It's like that moral question of self control. Should I follow my brain or my heart? My book of "Answers to Life" is still incomplete, so I don't have the answer yet. But, like I said, here lies the opportunity. And what better than a chance to find out the answer through experience?

For 5 hours, I surf from website to website, opening hundreds of tabs as I scroll down quickly, scanning each article just to get the gist of it. And so I concluded, that my ambition and dream to become a member of the architectural world has a million and one pathways. Robert Frost said the he took the road less travelled on. I'm not sure if I'm brave enough to step out of my comfort zone and trust myself to lose myself and find myself (I hope that made sense). At this tender age of 20, I still have the estimated 40 years before I could make a name for myself in architecture. Only God knows if the end of the world were to come before I reach that age. I think it might; but that's a different story. And so now, at 20, I am so young... so very very young.

I dream to volunteer in a rural area and experience the culture and the way of life of the people. To learn a new language. To live their lives and be one of them. To be a native. I have always wanted to volunteer in Peru and I have found a great number of volunteering websites and options that gave me so much ideas that I just feel like bursting out my seams! The image of me standing with a brick in one hand and a shovel in the other is exhilarating! To help the people build shelter, no, a home... to see a simple structure, that I help build is giving me chills down my spine. I don't know how to explain this feeling and need to volunteer. I lack stamina and I lead a sedentary lifestyle. But if I do decide to go with this dream... I am willing to prepare myself 110%. By the way, the picture on the right is one of the reasons why I want to go to Peru in the 1st place. Yup.. I want to see that wall. Oh, and the kid too. But mostly the wall. No joke. That wall's history is absolutely in the category of grandiose...

And then there is the story of ambition... the next best thing to help you become the (hopefully) next best thing is an internship. I won't get paid instead, I wil have to pay. It's a little stupid in that sense that I have to pay everything. Am I being ripped off? Apparently, this is how they roll in international internships. "You.Pay.You.Gain."

Both of these opportunities are great. They're fantastic. A great addition to an empty CV. And as always I stand on a fork. 2 bends on my road. Well, 3 bends actually if you count having an empty summer a bend. I'd say its static on the fork, or simply a shortcut off a cliff. The most disturbing part of this entire idea of an opportunity is that money plays a huge role in guaranteeing said opportunity. It's like the entire world has turned to piracy. They're so manipulative and absolute robbers of ambitious dreamers like me. Drawing me in with the promise of adventure and experience. I don't know anymore... I really don't.

I have always lived in a room, confined within my four walls with one window. Now there is a door. I added that door. I just have to open it. It's almost nerve-wrecking to open the door. What's behind it? Will I find adventure? Will I find myself? Will I find an answer? For 20 years I've lived staring out of that window, will 2011 be the year that I venture out of the confinements of my comfort zone and grab life by the balls?

xo.

Oh My Goodness!

2010-12-09T19:58:00.000Z

Thursday (almost) 8pm,

I've finally returned after a hiatus..

I've always loved reading and writing and a few years ago, I thought it would be interesting to start a blog. And now... come to think of it, hardly anyone comes by my blog to read. (pathetic laugh) Well to be honest, it doesn't really matter to me. I write and I ramble because I care. That's the satisfaction right there. (rhyme much?)

So. A lot has happened man... a lot... I don't think I'll ever get the chance to write about them. So, I'll just list them down with brief notes...

1. The highly anticipated Summer of 2010 SUCKED! BIG TIME! The best blast of the entire 4 months: the wonderful few weeks in Kuala Lumpur with LAMEOS. As well as a few individual days with friends in Kota Kinabalu.. but other than that.. IT SUCKED!

2. We end. The end.

3. I fell in love (again). To a younger man (pheeweet~!) Sorry Johnny.. You're too old for me now. Enter >> Joseph Gordon-Levitt

4. Enter Second Year.. I have an entire flat to myself.. And shopping is the best past time activity and a definite stress-relief... (checking out asos.com right now. brb.)

5. I made new friends :)

6. I'm losing weight.. well.. I'm planning to.

7. I'm so into official soundtracks.. they always lead to seriously cool bands. I mean, how else are you going to learn about cool bands other than watching cool indie movies? like 500 days of summer, pretty little liars (not indie but they definitely have cool background songs), and more.. I'm currently listening heavily to these bands:
- Bombay Bicycle Club
- Katie Herzig
- The Smiths
- Pixies
- Meaghan Smith
- 500 days of summer OST (I take that as a band as well. The compilation is perfect!)

8. I think you can pretty much figure out by now that I'm crazily in love with the movie 500 days of summer. I've been watching reruns of 3rd Rock from the Sun just because I'm running out of things to watch with Joe in it.

9. I am in desperate need of therapy. Be it retail or stress.

10. I've decided to sell a few of my things.. just to raise money for a few other things..

11. I'm learning how to dress myself.. like.. fashionably.. in my own style of course. Hence the constant shopping. You can never find the perfect outfit without scouting.

12. I'm lovin my Doc Martens..

13. I've recently learned that I have problems handling pressure... I get easily overwhelmed by stress and that's a bad thing really.. because my entire career choice's foundation is stress & pressure. If I can't handle this.. then.. I will have a huge problem handling my career.. shit.

14. I'm taking a few foreign languages next year. Still deciding which.. French? Spanish? hmmm... both? at the same time?

15. My heart just yearns for adventure! Even though I lead a sedentary lifestyle, but my soul just burns and yearns for an eye-opening cultural experience.. Therefore.. I'm going VAGABONDING! soon...

16. I can't think right now. I guess 15 things are a lot... I should make blogging a habit again. It keeps my sanity in check.

Much Love, Hugs & Slobbering Kisses,

DJaH

All in a slugger's day's work (part 2)

2010-07-29T12:31:00.000+01:00

As soon as the credits rolled up for Salt, I walked slowly to the exit while massaging my forehead. I was having a headache. My eyes and mind were strained from watching two movies in a row. And maybe also for the lack of food. I walked aimlessly before ending up at the food court and entered the Subway store. I was no longer indecisive. All I knew was that I needed to eat.

And so I placed my order. Bought the reload for my phone. And slowly made my way back.

When I walked out of the movie Inception, I felt as if I was Ariadne (Ellen Page's character). And when I walked out of the movie Salt, I felt as if I was Salt herself... walking slowly and by myself against the crowd's direction, I was in my own world, consumed by my thoughts and imagination of "What Ifs". Seriously though, what if I was Ariadne or Salt? Wouldn't that be too cool? My mind killed the idea after the sad reality that I'm physically wider and stouter than either attractive characters overcomed me.

I no longer think. I know for a fact that I WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES.

So how did Salt go? It was great! Well, I wouldn't and couldn't compare Inception with Salt. They're two very different movies. One is about a spy thriller and the other was.. well.. a bit of everything and more. Which is better? I'll go for Inception. But no doubt Angelina hit it off well as Tom Cruise's replacement. Maybe even better? (dot.dot.dot.)

And so the end of the day has come for this slugger. My eyes are killing me and I need a break from looking at screens. And I need to eat. Tomorrow I plan on watching Despicable Me and The Sorcerer's Apprentice. But... Well, Is there an excuse as to why I shouldn't? Can't think of one.

After a hard day's work of watching two movies in a row and consuming a whole lot of junk food, the floor is waiting for me...

Good night

All in a slugger's day's work

2010-07-29T09:02:00.000+01:00

And so it began when I woke up with the sun shining on my face. There were no chirping birds. No Disney music in the background. Just the sound of the TV being left on as I purposely did because I decided to sleep on the floor again the night before. I woke up groggy and smiled and the irony that the movie playing was the exact same movie that played right before I slept. And it was the scene where the security guard was told off by the lady-boss ... and then ... well, I dozed off.

Don't bother asking me the title of the movie. I hardly care. I switch the TV off and remembered instantly that today was the day I decided to watch movies at the cinema. I remember the night before, I was checking the cinema's website for the show's screening times... and on the top of my list of must watch :

Inception
Salt
Despicable Me

I had two hours before the screening of Salt. I knew I was going to miss that so I decided to go ahead with Inception first. And as I write this blog, I have approximately an hour before Salt the movie starts.

As I locked the front door this morning, I thought to myself, "What am I to expect from the movie Inception?" I shook it off. I didn't want to think about the movie, lest I got disappointed. Skipping the part to how I got to the cinema and stalled the time before buying the small caramel popcorn and chicken twisties, I sat down comfortably in my chair and waited for the trailers to start.

The second Inception began, I was hooked. I listened to every word they say as if it was going to be last thing I'll ever hear in the world. I gave my fullest attention to the details of the background and the handsome face of Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Taking it all in... It blew me away. This movie was ground breaking, mind blowing, earth shattering. This is definitely IT. There is no such movie quite like it. Not yet anyway. I don't want to spoil it for those who have yet to watch it. So, if it isn't your cup of tea, go make your own pot.

The most disappointing thing about the whole experience of watching the movie was how annoying the public can be. That is the suckiest thing about watching movies in the cinema. There will always be others who couldn't care less about anyone but themselves. For instance, the people who come in late in the movie. It's so annoying to see heads and body parts and hear the sounds of these people making their way through. And the worst part about it all is when there are selfish people who talk during the movie.

My goodness. half and hour through the movie, my seat kept moving forwards and backwards. Small nudges that ended up being so freaking annoying that I could hardly stand it. I turned around to face this woman snuggling up to her boyfriend, sitting so low on her chair that you definitely know her feet is against the back of my chair which of course, obviously is the source of all the nudges. I told her off. And thankfully, she stopped. But her boyfriend didn't. He talked non-stop throughout the movie. He would say he was whispering. But isn't it annoying to hear those stupid hissing noises and the know-it-all tone? I don't mind if it was a one time thing but nope, he decided to inform his (presumably less knowledgeable) girlfriend about the entire happenings.

*breathing heavily and deeply*

Ignoring all the annoying facts of watching movies with the rest of the world, I still enjoyed the movie. And I have to add how delicious Joseph Gordon--Levitt looked through out the movie. And Ellen Page did not disappoint me as she sealed herself once again as one of my favourite actresses.

I still have about 45 minutes before I get to watch how Angelina Jolie take on Tom Cruise's role. I'm currently googling about the movie Inception. IMDB gave it a whopping 9.2! Wow! Pretty much like Shawshank Redemption. Standing ovation to Christopher Nolan please.

The slugger's day will end soon... but not until I am safely on the floor again in front of the TV and... well... zzz

Till then.

Blame the hormones

2010-07-13T19:04:00.000+01:00

How long has it been?

Months I'm guessing.

But it feels like it's been years since I wrote in.

As I type in my words slowly, listening to La Grande Sophie's beautiful French voice, my eyes droopy and tired, I pick my emotions one by one and finally conclude that I suffer from a wave of emotions...

No surprises there. I am female anyway. Do what everyone does,

blame the hormones.

And there. A sigh.

I can't seem to decide what I want in life.

No surprises there. I am fickle.

I think I should be specific. I can't seem to decide what I want from my present life.

I know for certain what I want for my future. But every time, a "today" comes along, a present time or moment happens, I find myself looking out the window and wondering what is it that I want.

I could hardly decide between rice and noodle, sleep or not to sleep, lie or sit on the bed...

Trivial, no?

It's these little things that annoy me greatly of every day life.

How could one be so decisive of the future but ignore the present?

How many days do I have to waste in order to prove myself that I have in fact, rested enough and should join the outside world again?

Everyday is the same day.

I hold my fate in my own hands. But I find comfort in the things that do not change. Like ordering the same meal at the restaurant after your hundredth time eating there just because you're afraid the other food won't taste as nice.

If I choose to stand up from my couch today, I face the unknown reality of having to spend a day that could be enjoyed lying down with a good book into a day of chaos and what might be tiresome.

My excuse: I'm too tired. I have enough stress from school as it is. Give me no more.

My solution: I shall sit and lie on this bed/couch until tomorrow. the next day. the next next day. Everything else will come later. I still have time...

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

And now I'm looking out the window again, asking myself what is it that I really want from my present time...

A sloth's luxury?

Or the unknown reality?

My childish inner tantrums screams and begs not to be awaken from her lazy Sundays.

My mature adult self is in arms reach of that rattan. The child in me deserves a good beating.

But giving in to lazy Sundays is soooo tempting because I know I won't have them anymore once Term Attacks and bombard me with the overload of assignments..

Three days have past this week and each of it filled with my face buried deep in a novel, curled up on the soft couch and napping away happily whenever I felt like it.

I couldn't care less what happens to the unknown reality of everyday life.

Nevertheless... I cannot believe how annoyed I feel after a lazy Sunday (everyday is a Lazy Sunday).

Hence me turning to that freaking window and begging it to open up and show me the view best for my present path.

I'm not making any sense even to myself.

I'm getting sleep deprived. And dehydrated. I better shut down and crash.

Coming Up!

2010-04-25T14:36:00.000+01:00

I have so so so so so so so so so so so so so much going on in my head right now I just never got the chance to write them down and I have no time to do so right now!! Damn. Ok.. The Gypsy City or also known as my ditzy brain and the thoughts inside.. will be paused for an unknown length of time.. I just need to put my game face on and work my ass off.

Presentations and exams coming up.. and my legendary coming of age as well.. and SUMMER!! So much happened.. so much till its too much. I need to pour my guts out.

Be right back! Will update with the juiciest gossip happening around the City (Gypsy City, of course).

See you around! :)

can't really sleep.. thinking about the holidays...

2010-03-26T04:25:00.000Z

It's 4.10am..

and I'm still up.

I am stubborn in a way.. but I won't sleep until I feel like sleeping. Which is the nature in life, obviously. My very good friend V is coming over for the weekend. Cleaned up my room for that. And straight on after the weekend I have London calling me. Oh yeah. THAT I cannot wait. I just want to smile up and scream, "London, here I come!"

I haven't quite decided what I was going to do once I get to London. One thing is for sure is visit my old lecturer from back when I was in Limkokwing. XR. The best. The bomb. The legend. She is the one who pulled and pushed me out of that rut.

I could always be one of the lame tourist and tour London for what it is on the surface. Or I could try and find some real London and explore it. Or I could just make my through the hustle and bustle and just find what I want to do once I see it. I better plan ahead since I don't want to waste my time there. But while V is here.. I gotta bring her around Liverpool... I'm not a master of the area.. but I guess I'll just take her to the usual sights.. touristic destinations.. the Albert Dock, Liverpool One, the city centre, hmm.. that Roman Catholic Church, Yum's the chinese buffet, movies in my room.. anywhere else? Can't think of anywhere else...

Gypsy City has arrived on Tumblr

2010-03-25T20:25:00.000Z

I've decided to try out the infamous tumblr. I love the layout. Not to say that I don't love my Blogspot layout. But the simplicity of tumblr looks great as an artistic blog.. and this blog seems well suited for writing articles and stuff.. I'm still not sure.. maybe I'll be blogging the same thing for both which is absolutely pointless actually.

What am I gonna do? hmm.. lol. I don't know what to do.. I'll look it all through.. and see how everything goes.

gypsycity.tumblr.com

Followup: London? Paris? Scotland? Thursday Crit & Her..

2010-03-19T19:36:00.000Z

It went well. nuff said.

Honestly I can't remember what happened. It was like a blur. A rush. I pinned up. On time. Was a complete nervous wreck for 3 hours or so up till the moment of my crit. It was beautiful (note the sarcasm). It was great and all before the crit.. until the moment when she came along and ever so nicely asked if the wall next to mine was empty. And there. She pinned up.

I cannot believe how strong her effect is on me. Not only did she completely overtook my thoughts yesterday.. but her effect is still running full gear in my head right now. You have no idea what I'm talking about. It's ok. I'll try and make some sense.

I pinned up. On time. Enough time to even make myself a cup of hot chocolate and eat some kellog bars. I felt damn nervous. Just worried over the fact that some stranger is gonna crit me. When we gathered in together in the studio.. and the head of BA1 introduced to us our panel of judges, my nervous system just started acting funny.. and i was quite shaken. I found out soon enough that the head of BA1 (seriously cool guy), some 5th year guy (absolutely blunt..) and a petite brunette architect with glasses (don't know where she's from) was going to be my panel of judges.

I stood there casually waiting for my turn since I pinned up at the centre of the wall. I thought they would attack the first guy at the end of the wall, but well well well... they decided to attack yours truly first. (I wonder if that has anything to do with her..) And there I stand, all smiles and looking bright and happy and positive as I could ever be.. and satisfyingly it went well. I mean, sure I have to develop more of my ideas and go to the ultimate extreme but there was nothing that I couldn't do. It feels like a pressure cooker when I think about how much time I have left. I was happy when the head of BA1 actually remembered my last project. He wasn't even my tutor. How sweet~ That was really cool of him. I enjoyed the crit. I like how it went. I took it all in positively. They were all very constructive. And nothing they said that I didn't think about before.

Question: If I had thought about it before then why didn't I put it in work?
Answer: Time constraints, my friend.. Time constraints..

Well I should've went on with my instincts rather than playing it safe. They told me to go to the extremes. Well my dear, I am in fact, proud to say, that I am quite the experimentalist and wouldn't mind taking my thoughts and designs to the extreme. Now that I have the ultimate green light to go as crazy as I can (within the rationalities of buildability) I shall once again "wow" the crowd by stepping into my very own velvet shoes and travel through my Design-Oz or jump into the rabbit hole and be DJaH in Wonderland. (this is lame. you get the jist.)

As soon as my presentation ended. I exaggerated my emotions and dragged my feet out the front door as quickly as I could. I just couldn't bear standing there in the same room as her while she's presenting. If I did.. I would've been crushed. I mean, I didn't even see her present yet I feel like I had and I feel so damaged. That is the effect that Maria has on people. Well, me, in particular.

Maria...

Her name has become synonym to words such as awe, crazily good, great, scary, drawing, crazy beautiful drawings, damn, talented, damn talented, super duper, and all those other words I can't think of but pretty much means the same thing. I hate pinning up next to her. Everyone, I think, hates pinning up next to her. Why? Because she practically overshadows everyone else. And Thursday was the best day to get overshadowed. Hooray for me.

She throws herself into her work and you can totally see the greatness she comes up with. Not only that she's pretty too. and smart. and nice. In short: a very nice package. A very nice and complete package. I mean everyone has their flaws. I don't know the girl personally personally... but she doesn't seem so bad. The fact is, she pinned up next to me and gosh. I wonder if the lecturers picked to start of with me just to get to her faster.

It is depressing.. seriously depressing to pin up next to Maria. The rest of the day, I just didn't smile much. Partly because I was tired. And partly because I know that everyone in the whole school hardly even noticed my work and even if they did, they'll be comparing it against this year's Student of the Year. I had a few people coming up to me asking how my crit went and I just gave a small smile and exaggerated the situation by saying it went horrible. And when they ask me why, I just have to say these words, "I pinned up next to Maria." and nuff said. A simple "oh" and a I-totally-get-you face and we move on.

Wanna know what else happened to Ms. Synonym-to-great-English-words? She received an applause. They applauded her. They FREAKIN' applauded her. I wonder how I would have felt if I were to stand there.. while she presented. No way. And so I didn't. and yet. here I am. blogging about her.

I would love to be a Maria one day. not Maria Maria.. but a Maria. I'm proud to have her as my classmate. I wonder what's gonna happen in 5 or 10 years time.. Where will I be? Where will Maria be? Will she stay a Maria? or be Super Maria? (like super mario! get it? lol! *lameness*)

Anyway, I'm just gonna wallow on my own here... so. yeah. kids, you got your whole life ahead of you.. so go out there and be a Maria in anything you choose to do.

Do I appear Human? or Alien-Like?

2010-03-19T18:56:00.004Z

A great deal of my life was spent studying.. going to school.. academic.. education.. just. study. And all those years were all spent at home. And when I look at foreigners, international students, I always pity them. I always feel like they don't belong. And I almost always ask the question, "Why are they even here? What the hell are they doing here? Their country is way better off, why come to Malaysia?" The answer to those questions are not relevant to what I'm posting right here right now. So you can answer them yourself.

While I was walking back home a few minutes ago and I saw this white dude in a black leather jacket smoking with his friend at the back door of a restaurant's kitchen (the friend must probably be working there..) and I hear them talking... then it hit me. Right in the freaking head. I'm in Liverpool. As in United Kingdom's, England's, Liverpool..

Pardon me for a minute, let me explain something about myself. When I go to a new place.. I have the tendency to not know where I am.. like seriously not know where I am and consciously admit it. It takes time for me to know where I am. I don't know if this makes any sense. But I mean, I know I'm in a place called Liverpool and I know it's in the UK. But after years and years of being in my comfort zone.. it won't really hit me until it actually hits me. I'm weird, I know. And I'm not making any sense, not even to myself.

So anyway. Yes. It finally dawned on me (today) that I am not in South East Asia any longer. I am a thousand miles away from home and I am living among the people who's ancestors once proudly conquered my home. Nice. And I am not a local. I'm an international student. I am just like that foreigner I use to look at back home.. Thinking to myself about their entire purpose of being here. It's not a difficult question for locals here. My purpose of coming to their place is to study (and travel. and stare at them. it's not rude for me to look at them. I'm foreign.)

Thinking back.. while in the studio, doing my work and stuff, when looking at the Chinese international students.. I feel like they appear sort of alien-like. Not like alien sci-fi. But so out of place. Which is surprising considering the number of Chinese internationals in the UK. (They even have to register with the police! damn.) Them speaking in chinese.. them not mingling with the locals.. them hardly able to put a proper sentence together.. The feelings I had back home can't help but resurface.. And now I wonder. Do I appear human to the locals? Or alien-like? When I speak in my language with my friends.. do I appear.. totally freaky? My spanish speaking classmates blends in well. Does the colour of my skin make me stand out and emphasise my alien features to the locals?

I remember talking to this blond girl in my group. I was just asking a question. And she looked at me in this repulsive way as if to say, "Why the hell are you talking to me?" bitch-face. F*ck. Seriously. In that moment in time, actually even now now that I remember it, I feel like giving her a big bitch-slap that biatch. She's not even pretty. She's just blonde. Okay I'm not gonna vent out about her in this post.

So the question remains.. do I appear human? or alien-like? Personally, I would like to appear human. It's kinda sad if they see me in the way that I see those sad international students back home.. I know I might seem like out of place.. and that's a fact that I can't change. But. It'll be nice to feel accepted. But then.. in a way.. I wanna stay international. Then I can stay exotically different.

London, Paris, Scotland? For Real??

2010-03-15T03:39:00.000Z

My design tutor told my tutorial group a few weeks back that we were going to have visitors coming in for our final review (which is on the 18th of March a.k.a. THIS THURSDAY) and I was like, "nah! he must be joking. Why would anyone come and see us?

A few crit sessions later, he then said, "When the people from London come and see your work, they won't know or understand anything about it. So you have to... bla3x." Ehem. There. Again. Repeated. So. I get the hint. Right. People from London are coming. *pressure*

Then last week I just ahd to double check with the man about this. There has to be the ultimatum. That confirmation. that damn confirmation. And then he calmly said, "Yes. They're coming. And so are people from Paris and Scotland. My good friend who works with Starck (the product designer) is coming as well. Mad as a Hatter. But absolutely brilliant. Great designer." Wow. *pressure cooker on high*

So.. on Thursday, the 18th of March (which is like in 3 bloody freaking days)... my work will be viewed and reviewed by my esteemed lecturers, proud 3rd year seniors and unknown-scary-people-from-seriously-cool-&-important-places? Wow. Nice.

So.. Big question here buddy, Am I Ready? HELL YEAH!...
...
...
...
(pause)
...
...
...
NOOOOOT!!!!

Heads up. I'm in the studio right now. it's.. erm.. what time is it? oh. it's 3.40am. yay. nice. I'm sleepy. tired. and just worned out. I have a crit at 10am today and I am just like... no where near ready man. I got the stuff. But I just have to you know, put them together. Like puzzle pieces. I just want to go home and sleep. Blogging this helps me stay awake for tha one more extra hour that I need to finish some stuff on sketchup plus the time i need to pack my bags and head on home...

Because before 8.30am, I have to wake up and get ready and get printing and get my ass in front of that beloved wall and pin it all up. I love this life. damn. I can't differentiate my sarcasm from my honesty. I'll leave it to you to figure it out.

Oh my gosh I am just so beat right now. So beaten into pulp. I'm gonna crash soon. I seriously seriously need that easter break. I cannot wait for the 27th of March to come. PLEASE COME FASTER!!

All the best to me, and my work, today and next Thursday. I'll update my blog if all goes well. If it doesn't then, there won't be a post. Till then.

Damn it!

2010-03-14T18:10:00.000Z

Seriously I just wanna blog for awhile.. but I can't and I couldn't! Dang it man..

I have to concentrate on my work... I've got like 5 new things I wanna blog about...

:(

I just gotta finish my work asap and tell you about it.

at 5.15pm today...

2010-02-26T19:57:00.001Z

I was at Quickchef having a salad with my best friend. Having returned from the bookstore (it was the first time in my life since I got to Liverpool that I've ever entered a bookstore) and got inspired, I've decided to write a new post.

It has been awhile...

I bought two books from Blackwells today; books that I hope will help me explore my new found dream of travelling the world. I guess I've finally decided to make GypsyCity a reality. Not guess. Know. GypsyCity was at first started as a blog about my constant /never-ending thoughts. I'll continue that. This blog will always remain personal. The next step in my life (a dramatic sentence but yes) would be to start a new blog - possibly entitled:

gypsycity-gypsygirl

Now I'm no gypsy. And I know that in some European countries (like Romania for example), this is a very sensitive topic. But I'm merely referring to the generic term of the word gypsy = traveller. Ok ok.. just to avoid any future vicious comments / slander & complications.. I guess I'll try this on for size:

gypsycity-nomadgirl

coming soon in search engines near you >>> gypsycity-nomadgirl.blogspot.com. yeehaa! lol!

I don't know if you've noticed but I did start a new blog called gypsycity-artdesignculture that was supposedly meant for my point of view in all things related to art, design and culture. But I fear I might sound like those typical/every other wannabe-artistic-designer talking about the art or design or culture. These topics are actually very personal to me because I seriously enjoy them (in a different scale from architecture). They're in par with my love to write. So I'm still unsure whether or not to continue. Heck I haven't even posted any articles in it. Since I didn't know what to write. lol. right~

Ok back to my point. I bought two books that would (hopefully) help me with my hopes and dreams of being a nomad.

I just want to do something purposeful with my life. There's more to life than being a somebody with a white collar. Yeah sure, it's a dream of mine to earn as much dough as possible before i retire. But there's more than that. I want to do something while I'm still young. I want to help. I've always wanted to help. By volunteering I could help not only others but especially myself. I want to take excursions around the world studying people, culture, architecture, art. I want to be surrounded constantly by the things that I love: my passion: my thirst to live: my world.

I could go on and on and on about this. A million and one days possibly couldn't even cover the extent the million and one reasons that I want to travel. Hmm.. I'll try and summarise it all in my top 10 (non-chronological order)

I want to learn the cultures of the world
I want to explore the architecture of each different country and culture.
I want to write about it all (blog it or any means necessary to document my emotions. hehe.)
I want to sketch the world with my lack-of-talent hand. Record it all in my sketchbook. (I think it will be un-understandable by others. But hey, if I get it. Who gives?)
I want to broaden my knowledge about everything and anything
I want to help others and see the look on their faces when they receive my honest work for them (I can imagine the people without homes finally living in a house that could actually last them years... it must be a blessing to finally own a home... gosh.. I feel so guilty with my luxury)
I want to understand and hear out the opinions of people regarding their way of life.. their architecture.. their priorities.. their beliefs.. is it really the same everywhere? what makes one unique from the other?
I want to bring something with me when I come home to my own country... I want to bring with me the love and an open mindedness that we so truly lack...
I want to teach my skills, my knowledge, share it all to those who never get the chance to have it
I want to learn about myself... what I can do... my limits... what can I achieve in this short life span on earth
(coming to no.11. can't seem to stop!) I want to learn about the different faiths of the world and how religion influences the culture and architecture
I want to learn more about my own faith.. and how others in different situations and countries practice it.

I think I better stop right here.. It's getting to much. Too long. No one is ever going to bother reading all this. Here I am telling the world the things that I want. But I can only want so much, do I have what it takes to bring it to myself?

Gosh... Sounds daunting.

But it all comes down to money. Even if I have what it takes, do I have the money?

I think we all know the answer to that... I mean c'mon, would I be sitting here, writing and telling you guys about the things that I want when I could just get up and go? Clearly the answer to that obviously bonus question is... yup. you got it right.

Promenade Site Visit (& Dog Shit)

2010-02-09T19:27:00.007Z

I cannot believe the amount of Dog poop in my chosen site at South Bedford Street... Seriously.

I think I was careful enough while walking around the area. I was hopping from one place to another while eww-ing the entire time I was there. No way I was bringing shit home with me. That's disgusting! Some of my friends were.. well.. not so fortunate.. One of my them actually threw her boots away after stepping on one too many. Lol! To THAT extent..

I'm pretty excited for this upcoming project but it did scare the crap out of me when I found out who my tutor was. I'm glad that my name was lucky enough to fall under him. Being under him means more pressure. Like, TEN FOLD. The best and only thing to do is to take this as the perfect opportunity to learn from him. He's a great critic. He will tear you down and crush you apart.. or crush you down and tear you apart? I don't know. Wait I should say he will crush ME down and tear ME apart. That is if I don't live up to his expectations.

A tip passed on by a friend of mine was that this tutor is great and will leave you be, if and only IF, he sees that you have suffered for your work.

Talk about artists-in-pain~ *dramatic mode* I can imagine myself like a drunkard in a dark empty room, all alone sitting by a candle..

When I told my seniors who I got for this project, they went on and said,

"Change Course."
"Drop out of architecture."
"Wear orange pants and a low cut T-shirt (for cleavage purposes)"

I'm going to be positive and make the best of my time under him. It's pretty scary coming into 2nd Semester... I could pretty much pin point the main competition in class but none would point back at me (of course.) One of them just so happen to be my group mate. Wow. Talk about depressing pressure. So. Let's straighten this out. I have a difficult lecturer as my tutor and a crazy-super-skilled girl as a member. Sweet. Sweet ass.

And to top it all, I chose the site with a pile of Dog Shit. High Five.

So what's next for me? Presentation baby. or should I say.. PresentationS (plural). I forgot to mention that this tutor is pretty wrong/evil in the head. He wants a pinned-up presentation every Design Day: Monday + Thursday. Sigh~

I'm not fretting. I'm not complaining. As tough as it sounds, it won't be as tough as the time I were to fail.. no no no. Won't think about that. Won't let it happen. But as I stood against the brick wall at my poop-infested site, I just felt so serene. Shit or no shit, this is what I wanna do. Bring it on.

Design for Life: Episode 6

2010-01-30T02:33:00.002Z

Season Finale Everybody!!

Who's gonna win the 6 month placement at Phillippe Starck's firm in France??

Damn I wish I was that lucky winner... and have my portrait hang on that wall...

Don't waste time! Watch it now!

And tell me what you think! Do you think the winner deserved it?

Enjoy guys! And imagine that's you with Starck :P I know I'll be~

Design for Life: Episode 5

2010-01-30T01:27:00.002Z

It's the second to last episode people!

See who gets to be in the top!

and who's going home?

JENG.JENG.JENG.

Click on the older posts link at the bottom to access earlier episodes. Or just click on the date Jan 30 from the Archives section to get all of it at once. :)

Enjoy!

Design for Life: Episode 4

2010-01-29T23:26:00.002Z

4 episodes down and 4 contestants left out of the original 12

Creativity is EVERYTHING to "WOW" Starck.

Time constraints + Competitive people + Seriously high expectations = A designer's reality

I don't know if I should be happy or sad that i'm sitting on my bed and lazing around instead of extending myself + brain and just training my creative juices like these people.. But Great Friday and the Weekends comes only.. er.. once a week.

Enough Talk! More Watching! Enjoy! :)

Design for Life: Episode 3

2010-01-29T23:06:00.002Z

Up next boys and girls is the 3rd episode of World-Renowned Product Designer:

Phillippe Starck

Yahoo! This episode? Totally GRUELLING!!!

A Phd student once told me, "If you feel like quitting and doing something else, that's when you're doing it right." Well I don't know whether to agree or disagree... Do comment.

Watch the show and see it for yourself, what you would've done if you were in their shoes.

Fail & Bail? or Struggle on and get that freaking smile of satisfaction plastered on your face?

Enjoy!

p/s, to get to previous episodes.. just click "older posts" :) Or you can just click on the date Jan 30, I've got most of the episodes lined up there. So far...

Design for Life: Episode 2

2010-01-29T21:09:00.003Z

Another episode! 2 more elimination! and a twist at the end~

But in my opinion.. justice served!

I don't know how I would stand if I were one of the competitors...

crazy!!

Episode 1 is available... you just have to scroll down and click "Older Posts"

Don't forget to leave a comment. I would love a big fat juicy discussion on your opinions.

Design! Design! Design!

Creative Juices flowing for anyone?

Well, Enjoy!

Design for Life: Episode 1

2010-01-29T20:43:00.002Z

Phillippe Starck made a TV show about DESIGN! woohoo! Finally!

A competition about Design. But like he says.. it's not much about Design, it's more on Creativity.

It's great to learn his Philosophy for free!

Enjoy!

Comments appreciated. Let's talk about it :)

Bananas for Breakfast Thinking bout Playstations on Great Friday

2010-01-29T09:32:00.007Z

Today is the day of Great Friday

"W'sup with the 'Great'?"

It's the Freaking Weekend
Exams are over
It's the Freaking WEEKEND
Movies on a line up, with chips & good (junk) food
It's the FREAKING WEEKEND
Next sem is gonna "BOOMS" on Monday (you'll have to watch Phua Chu Kang mocking Ris Low to understand the sarcasm in that)
IT'S THE FREAKING WEEKEND
Oh and my sister delivered a baby this morning at 4am.

(I might get people misunderstanding what I just said)

She didn't give birth. She delivered.

So... what's on for today?

...

I'm kinda bored.

...

Yea movies on a line up and shit but... that's what I do EVERY Great Friday... I need something to spice up my life and seriously "BOOMS" my weekend. And no, I unfortunately do not have board games anywhere near me and neither do the people I know. C'mon, people bring playstations and xbox to Uni. Board games are so old school. And if you were planning on suggesting I play some of those playstation games... I'll let you in on a secret

I don't know how to play them.

I hardly ever. I don't own one / any. I tried playing it before. I sucked. Tekken is a great game. When I played it with my best friend, I forced him to lower his life so that I'll have a chance to win. Hey, it's only fair~ :P And I hate it when he gloats if he wins. Let's see.. who was my favourite in Tekken... Haha! I like Bryan Fury.

He's strong and.. err.. Furious! Yeah~ He's bad and all but that's not the point when you wanna win! There's only 2 games that I know of and know how to at least score in playstation. Tekken and

Rayman! Kinda kiddish. But it doesn't really belittle your intelligence. Hehe. Sort of. In a way. I like the mini challenges in the game. One of it involves spinning and throwing a cow. Haha! The bunnies were so cute! in an annoying kind of way. Nonetheless CUTE! :) Oh well. That's all I know about playstations..

I don't feel sad that I don't know how to play or I don't own one. Because it was like everyone in school has one and there I was.. the odd and weird one out. Oh well... all this doesn't change the fact that I still haven't decided how I'm gonna spend Great Friday and the weekends... I'm looking out the window and I'm just looking at the beautiful sun.. I wish the weather isn't so cold... I could just wear a tank top and some shorts and strut down Hardman Street, or a bikini and jeans, or just yellow boots...

Damn I'm bored. Ok.. ok.. I've decided on...

Taking a shower (obviously. Hygienes man~)
Eating Bananas for Breakfast
Err..
Erm..
I give up. Movies it is.

Am I optimistic about the future?

2010-01-25T20:15:00.003Z

A few hours ago I was ranting on and on and on about something that seriously gives me nothing but anxiety and depression.

ENOUGH!

Enough I tell you.

Sleeping the sadness away seriously helped. So does going to the gym for a lil bit of exercising. Moving a bit. Working up a sweat. Releasin' 'em endorphins. I had to stop short of the gym thing though... long story. It's unimportant so I won't waste my time putting it in.

As I was walking back from Tesco, John Mayer started singing to me, "No Such Thing" and as I looked up, I saw this wall graffiti at the back of the gym that said,

Are You Optimistic About The Future?

and it just hit me.

(you have to know the lyrics to the song No Such Thing before you get what I mean)

What I fear the most is failure. I don't fear it because of how it makes me look. Ok partly that. But mostly because of letting my parents down. I don't know bout your parents, but mine? Gosh. Someone once asked me if one of my parents was part of the military or something since they were so strict and stuff. Not a joke.

I just hope I don't fail...

Because in all honest truth, I am optimistic about the future.

I'm not gonna go Miss Universe here and talk about Haiti or something. Though that is a truly sad case. But what matters most to me, what I see myself become, all that jazz, yes.

Yes.

I am optimistic.

Kick me down,

Shove me to the ground (woah that rhymed!),

I'll hit you in the face first before I move on (lol, the rhyme is unintentional).

I'm optimistic that I can even look like this >>>

Ha.Ha.Ha.

Well, I'm optimistic that I will dream that I'll look like that.

Get real~

Anyway the point is that, I know that this is easier said than done. I am living, breathing, walking proof it. Life is too short to waste on wallowing in the past. Plus, all that wallowing, depression and not smiling for days can really take a toll on your health and face.

Smiling = makes you look younger.

Well, I'll stop here.

Adios Amigos~

xoxo

The Rantings of a Frustrated Person

2010-01-25T00:38:00.008Z

it's ending soon

(Term 1, Semester 1, Sem 1, whatever you wanna call it)

And as usual, I like to ponder on my actions.

What & How & Why

I did whatever it was that I did...

I think a lot. So I write a lot. So I'm making this as thorough as possible for my benefit. So yea, it's gonna be pretty long. 1 whole semester is 6 months worth of talking man... and I have to be brutally honest about everything or else I won't improve myself.

I don't care about the length of this post. If it's gonna be as long as a book then so be it. I just need to vent my frustration. And this is my punching bag.

I have to be as mean but constructive as those judges from Project Runway. It shouldn't be personal. Well, in my case since I'm judging myself, I have to be personal. Well. Okay. I'll try not to. I was reading MARK issue 17, and I came across an interview with a French architect, Manuelle Gertrand and what she said seriously striked me. Here's her opinion on writing:

"It's a good way to dig deep in your thoughts, to structure them and to get yourself prepared..."

"A book is a back-pedalling, a sort of review of what you have done so far."

A book is something published. Something that you don't simply stow away somewhere at the back of your head or hard drive or journal and won't ever look at again or at least not for a very long time. It's a hard copy version of your words and thoughts. I'm not going to write a book. I don't have the means to. And even if I did, who would wanna buy a book about some lame first year architecture student's rant about her first term? So the only thing I have that I regularly visit/do that is (almost) "published" is this,

My Gypsy Notebook

so here goes...

-Assignment 1-

Formal Drawing, Model Making, Expressive Drawing of a friggin' Public Toilet.

The Beginning...

What did I do? I messed up at the beginning of the thing. 6 weeks to do the whole load of stressful crap and I did it in 2 weeks.

Why did I do that? I don't really remember why... hmm... err.. yeah... I seriously can't recall. (moving on)

How did I do it? I had model making first. It went well. I didn't complete the model. I just did the basic mock-up. Good reviews on that. Then I had formal drawings next. Well that sucked. Didn't complete my drawings. And those friggin' drawings that some of my classmates pinned up! Damn~ I'll spare the details. I'm getting jealous. My review for that week was.. well, it sucked. real bad.

Eventually...

What did I do? I stayed back in the Studio & stayed up in my room for the last 2 weeks of the project. I hardly ate. I hardly slept. Full on dedication. I prioritised my model more than my drawings.. so I basically spent 1 1/2 weeks doing the model and the remaining days dedicated to drawings.

Why did I do that? I was just motivated by the competition I guess. If you could only see those other international students who are way capable in drawing. It was just heartbreaking for me. I know my weakness. I'm not a very good drawer. (the skill, not the thing under tables. LOL! ok ok. lame joke. moving on.) So I decided to focus on what I thought I could excel more in. Making models.

How did I do? Well, it actually went great. (^_^) I got a result that I was happy with and my model making skill was complimented by my lecturer for the first time in my life. My drawings were neat. And it was good. The assignment was good. I ended that project with pure satisfaction.

-Assignment 2-
Intermission. A week long concept project aiming to create an Axonometric Drawing.

The Beginning & Eventually...

What did I do? I got sick. I guess it was due to the 2-weeks-of-no-sleep thing. So I missed the 1st day of class. It was nothing much really. We just coloured some 2D drawing. Next, I conceptualised the the image. And I came up with a crazy concept that my complicated brain always ends up with. I just pushed it.

Why did I do that? I wanted to experiment my creativity. I'm not very confident (but I'm learning). And so I came up with complicated ideas that I thought at the time I could handle. I mean, I came up with the idea, I must be able to carry it out.

How did I do? It went well. The concept received nods. And they liked the model that I did for the thing. So far so good. Pretty much ego boosting.

-Assignment 3-

Execute the ideas & concept from the intermission project and create a dwelling for a single architecture student outside of the architecture school.

The Beginning...

What did I do? I got really stressed out at the beginning because I had to come up with everything in just 2 short weeks before the final presentation. It took me 1 and a half week to come up with my final design. To me that was a really fast feat because if I were to let it, it would've taken me 2 weeks or more to come up with a final design that I would be officially 110% happy with. Anyway that slowed me down so I just managed to show some computer aided drawings, SketchUp really, and a few other manual drawings...

Why did I do that? because I just focused on my design rather than my work.

How did I do? The final presentation came and went. They liked my concept. And they told me (yet again) that I needed to catch up since I was lagging behind. F*.

Eventually...

I'm going to stop right here.

No more. I can't talk about this anymore.

I'll leave it all in my memory.

This is seriously something very personal to me. I don't really like to go personal in public. But I think I have to do this or else, it won't hit me in my conscience and I won't learn. I'm censoring my thoughts on the internet.

Seriously. If you could only see the drawings that those people with serious drawing skills did... I just feel like crying when I see it. I just feel a wave of emotions surging together.

Awe. Scared. Intimidated. Respect. Admiration.

I think I achieved what I planned on achieving by writing this post. I aimed to learn my lesson about my faults for my 1st semester and that I did. I truly honestly did. My best friend told me how far behind the both of us were in terms of skills. I brushed it off saying everyone is an individual. But after seeing the truth & reality for the first time, I don't think I can deny it anymore. Me? A competition in class? Dude! Get Real! I'm nothing compared to them! I wish I could post their drawings here but I believe in copyright issues when it comes to something as personal as that.

What I've honestly learnt from my first semester in the University of Liverpool's School of Architecture is that:

I've let the satisfactions and teeny bit of success that I got at the beginning to get into my head and just control me.
I waste time like a drug addict wasting away his life
I am truly in no position to see myself as equals with the lords of the class
I have so much to learn. So much. Plural. Uncountable amount.
I need to learn to forgive myself but not forget the mistakes that I've made and just have the guts to carry myself and all the excess baggage I have and just stride on with confidence and hope.
Everybody makes mistakes. I have to accept mine.

It's so hurtful to know that I could've done better. I beat myself too much. I'm a pulp now. What will my parents say? The remembrance of my parents, their faces, hopes, expectations - I'm in the midst of breaking down. But I won't let myself. I will let myself wallow in self pity for a day max. No longer than that because self pity is a waste of time.

The new semester is coming... I have one more paper before next weekend then come Monday February 1st, I have to hold on to the sturdiest part of me because I can bet you it's gonna be a far greater whirlwind. It's not going to be any easier. With every coming day, it just gets harder and harder and harder. No one likes to lose. I sure don't. But losing is a part of life.

And every great winner has failed his greatest failure in his lifetime.

No matter what happens from now on...

No matter if my parents turn me deaf

No matter if I stumble and fall yet again

I won't let myself give up

This is the path that I've set foot on..

This is my passion..

I SHALL. I WILL. I PROMISE TO...

GO NOW & LIVE

Experience.

Dream.

Risk.

Close my eyes and jump.

Enjoy the free fall.

Choose exhilaration over comfort.

Choose magic over predictability.

Choose potential over safety.

Wake up to the magic of everyday life.

Make friends with my intuition.

Trust my gut.

Discover the beauty of uncertainty.

Know myself fully before I make promises to another

Make millions of mistakes so that I will know how to choose what I really need.

Know when to hold on and when to let go.

Love hard and often and without reservation.

Seek knowledge.

Open myself to possibility.

Keep my heart open, my head high and my spirit free.

Embrace my darkness along with my light.

Be wrong every once in a while, and won't be afraid to admit it.

Awaken to the brilliance of ordinary moments.

Tell the truth about myself no matter what the cost.

Own my reality without apology.

See goodness in the world.

Be bold.

Be fierce.

Be grateful.

Be wild, crazy and gloriously free.

Be Me.

Pull & Bear

2010-01-23T02:13:00.006Z

Okay okay.. I know that this video is like... FRIGGIN weird.. but lately i'm just seriously interested in Fashion & Art... yea artsy-fartsy ...

I'm not exactly entirely sure what the whole story is about but i think it's about flight. Right Flight for Fashion.

Anyway in case you're wondering who're the fashion company.. it's Pull & Bear. Why blog about them? Hehe... well they just happen to be my favourite store actually. I just love & adore their clothes.. Casual yet stylish. I think they're from the same company as Zara... I'm not entirely sure. Google it.

Okay so anyway this video is for their Fall&Winter line for 2009/2010. It's pretty cool. I didn't shop for it though when it hit stores.. LOL. Cmon.. original prices are like.. pocket burning. Sales are Savers. Be smart. Shop during sales.

As much as I have learnt to love clothes.. I'm just not really ready to burn a whole in my pocket.. SO why pull & bear? I dunno.. maybe because they're almost affordable, they appeal to the general market & they're artsy at the same time? I guess those would be the reasons I like them... Here's a clip from their Spring/Summer 2009 collection. This vid is (thank God) not so weird.. being a Summer girl.. I prefer this season's style.

And do you know just how fast they update their stores? I went in on Thursday (and the next day, Friday.. just mere hours ago) and they were stocking up their stuff. Cool! But I'm waiting for sales to hit before I hit it.

15 quid for a T-shirt? errr.. Sorry. I don't make money. I spend them. So. I gotta be extra careful (though I am not) about where I spend it.. hehe. So here are the images I found of their latest season Spring/Summer 2010 hitting stores (clearly) just mere hours ago.

Right. Even if you're not a fan of their style or even fashion for that matter. You could always appreciate the quality of their photographs. They're exquisite! I just love it!

If I were the model... I refuse to lift my leg and spread it like that. It just looks wrong. But i guess she'll say, "Hey, in the name of fashion!" Yeah? Well. in the name of attractive beauty... that pose is ugly.

Mrs. Scarecrow? or Titanic?

I don't know what happened to the clothes.. and since these were the pictures for their new line, I guess they're trying to say... "The weather is hot and super fine, just take your clothes off." So why bother creating a line in the first place? Erm.. maybe it's because sex sells. Or maybe its just photography for arts sake. Who knows~

Again. Repeat the Question above. If they're trying to sell what she's wearing below.. the picture just doesn't cut it in trying to sell it. But the lighting effect... wow.

I don't know if you've noticed that the fashion scene in more famous stores like Topshop, Dorothy Perkins, Forever 21, MNG, yea well, places like that, they're hitting the 80s back on track. I am not a fan of anything from the 80s so I'm not planning on seeing myself in the style. Just urgh. No offence 80s lover. It's just not my cup of tea.

Laid back. Chilled. Relaxed. Comfortable.

Keywords when I'm off shopping. For now.. I'm off to bed. Ta!

Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie

2010-01-23T00:46:00.003Z

I just love how creative this video is...

and the song..

well, some of you might find it emo or something.

Whatever.

I find the song to be very refreshing... ^_^

I could actually see myself walking down a street of cafes...

somewhere in Paris or London? Maybe New York or Rome?

wearing something fashionable and so into the today scene...

And just listening to this song.

Wow.. I feel like I am "Her"

Me in my Morning Elegance~

Can I have happy dreams like this?

Walk on my bed and just... dream...

gosh.. tell me something, is there anyone in this world who actually look this good sleeping?

Can you tell me anyone who doesn't sleep in some ugly position every time he/she sleeps?

Doesn't drool..

Doesn't do ugly poses..

Doesn't fart... (yes believe it or not you can fart in your sleep. I've heard it first hand.)

Doesn't sleep with an open mouth...

You know the embarrassing stuff..

I wish I sleep with elegance.

I heart Joseph & Fashion

2010-01-12T22:12:00.007Z

I call this...

L . O . V . E

I love the fashion. I love the style.

I love the man. (wow!). I Heart Joseph.

Dang~

This is so sexy!

I think Claudia is absolutely drop-dead Gorgeous!

Go ahead and "read" the love story...

Romantic Affair... no?

oh yeah~

Men in smart casuals with skinny ties...

*DROPS & FAINTS*

Someone should fan me now...

...the end of the holiday spirit...

2010-01-02T05:21:00.012Z

Clap hands! Joyous celebrations for reaching the 2nd day of 2010. Yeah. Well. That don't make any difference that human remains human. *duh* 2nd day rollin in~ I'm still me. Attitudes and personalities remains unchanged. Unless by strength of will. I'm still hoping for change in 2010... hoping for an Obama-Change in 'muh' attitude... Well hope can only do so much... What is it with me? Bikin panas oh me. I panas with myself now.

So how's it been for me these past few weeks?

I've been nothing short of lazy & an absolute procrastinator. I call my excuse >>>

The Time to Recharge My Creative Soul

2 weeks passed in the blink of an eye and I have done absolutely nothing. I slept and ate and lazed and ate and slept and watched movies and woke up late and stayed till late and slept and ate and ate and ate and ate...

Hooray.. look who's turning into a big fat Badak Sumbu?

Ironic... I end up looking like the animal. Ehem. Specifically the fat thing under the naked woman. SO. ehem... so far so good. so far so lazy. so far so fat. so far... so disappointing.

I had 3 weeks of holiday. I told myself before my holiday began that I was only going to spend a week to have fun and focus on my stupid work for 2 weeks. Next thing I knew... 2 weeks passed without an ounce of work done. I have another excuse! Perfectly acceptable :) *can't expect less from a procrastinator* there won't be a holiday between Semester 1 and Semester 2 so it's perfectly acceptable for me to prolong my holiday :) This will be my holiday for my semesters too :) lol. Yea Yea Yea.

You know the thing is.. I wait and wait and wait for my opportunity to come when it's been right here right now right in front of me. This holiday is my opportunity to relax. Did i relax? hell yeah! but no at the same time. The holiday became stressful when I noticed the time passed by too quickly. I should take everything as it comes. Damn. I keep wishing for that image to happen you know.. that hammock in some secluded island.

When the embarrassing fact is, I don't even have enough to buy a sandwich let alone a plane ticket! I beat myself up this holiday and I end up stressed. Now work has to be done. And I just feel like pulling my hair outta my head. Roots end. Shit. This can't be happening. I have so much to do in so little time. I hate that. Shit. Just Shit.

Sibuk kunun... tapi masih sempat blogging. Apa lah. Banyak Bising. To be honest, talking about it makes me feel like as if I am in control of the situation. But once I stop talking and sit still... I am completely lost... It's nothing to do with making lists. It's just about setting my priorities straight. And it sure ain't straight right now.. It's completely jumbled together like spaghetti.. nyum... spaghetti... I'm hungry.

Priority: Eat. Settle Hungry Stomach. Sleep. Wake Up & Eat some more. Sweet~

Shit.

You know it's coming...

2009-12-31T13:35:00.003Z

The question is...

can you handle it?

"Dui.. it's just New Years. Apa yang mau handle?"

Ya la, its just new year's day to you.. But when you think about it bah properly.. its more than that. It's not just another day on the calendar. Not just another Friday. It's a day to be thankful that God bless you to live one more measly day and let you see a day of a new year.

New Year's Day is like a BIG. FAT. SIGN. with neon lights and everything telling you that you got another year to fix the bloopers you did last year. So try again. A new year is like a new hope so you try again. You can say, "then why don't we just celebrate each day" well, we do. It's called the Present Day. but New Year's day comes only once in a year, hence the celebration.

So I don't know about you guys, but for me, even though I know it's lame and corny and I might not stick to it at all, I'm gonna try and make a New Year's Resolution anyway. I wonder if this New Year will be a good year for me. Can I handle the struggles I will have to face for this New Year? Can I see myself reach the big 2-0? Will I live to see 2011? Can I handle 2010? Lol.. let's hope so.

So... anyway... what's in my Hope-List this year? The word Resolution doesn't really cut it for me.. So I'm gonna try and use a new word.. Hope-List. Sounds more... hopeful. -.-

DJaH's 2010 Hope-List

Be Gorgeous, Healthy & Happy for my 20th Birthday

Kinda like Hye Yeon from SNSD. I best look up to an Asian. Why try to look like Megan Fox when she's not even remotely close to anything I resemble in the first place? Not that I look anything like Hye Yeon..

Carry out "My 18-Days of Summer"

Look at that... Just look at that... Hot healthy Bods... The fabulous Summer Sunny Weather... (This dreary winter cold..) I wanna jump like that girl in the red bikini! Heck! I wanna laze around like every girl in this image. Shit. I want my 18 days of Summer N.O.W.!!

Lower down my cholesterol level

Yeah Yeah Yeah... I know I know... Eating healthy is like the MUST HAVE in every new year's resolution. Well, mine is far more serious than most. I gotta control my reckless eating. Or else. Seriously. This isn't a joke... Gosh... I can't believe I can't eat whatever I want anymore.. This hurts my feelings... :(

Make full use of that friggin gym pass

Well... I have to get fit and healthy. And the only way to do that is to exercise. I bought a gym pass anyway... might as well make full use of it. It's about time, I kick this lethargic body into full gear! I can't have my body failing on my when I'm only 30! No Way Jose~

Volunteer in a charity organisation

Uncle Sam wants me to volunteer. Look at that face. Can you say no to that scary looking old man? It's like he's trying to say, "Just cuz my hat has stars on 'em, don't mean whatever I say mean nothin'. You best straighten up yourself! I'll be expecting you front of the line tomorrow morning!" I'm no American. But seriously... that painting could make me vote. Anyway, I've always wanted to volunteer. So.. whatever Sammy.

Save up money

Here's another classic favourite in resolutions... saving money. Why do we always go back to this? Why do we always spend more than what we have? I hate the media. Damn You Mass Media! Oh well. Can't live without em. Can't beat 'em? Join 'em! Anyway, I'm saving up money for my Summer plans.. and wishing to spend less because I'm literally broke. So is the porcelain bank called Piggy.

Live Frugally

I'm desperate. I could probably end up like that man in that drawing. NO!! No way. I will never let myself end up in that sad pitiful way... well, frugal living is the only way to go for people like me... students with no source of income. No point of resource. With crazy eyes for nothing but shopping. (oh the beautiful things you see in shop windows and sales on racks. bliss.) I think I'll lie and be like the next hobo, just to make ends meet. Ridiculous & Desperate. But Creative with a sense of humour >>>

Call home more often

Hey! What dya know.. E.T. phones home & does commercials.. pretty neat. It'll be only a matter of time before technology catches up with the movies and everyone becomes an E.T. and calls home with a finger. Freaky. *gotta remember to call Ma & Pa soon.* Wait. I just did. Yay! Resolution kept! ^_^ so far... -.-"

Pluck a few songs on my guitar

*a-heavy-metal-song-with-a-head-banging-rockin-rhythm-booms-and-you-have-no-idea-what-the-vocalist-screaming-into-the-microphone-is-saying-but-you-guess-that-the-lyrics-are-about-death-murder-and-stuff-like-that-because-the-band-dresses-like-scary-satan-worshippers is playing seriously loudly in the background* Well... actually... all I want is to learn to pluck a few country songs...

Get a scholarship (pleasepleaseplease!!!)

Yea.. Life's like that. Student life's like that. Which is Shit. People fighting over money. It's sick. It won't be a tug of war.. It's a silent one. And we won't know who our opponents are. All I know is that my lethargic arms could only pull so much. But I need to get my hands on that bag of dough... Look at Piggy... He's begging for it... Poor Piggy...

You might've noticed that everything was numbered "1". Yeah well there's no ranking as to which should be priority. Everything is a priority. I can't seem to decide whether the last should be number 10 or number 4. Who knows? It doesn't matter to me. What matters most is that it gets done. So the question on my mind now... can I carry all this out in 2010? Well actually this plan is only up till June 2010. I need variety in life... I get bored sticking to one thing only. So I am most definitely going to have a new Hope-List a.k.a resolution by 6 months time. So a new Hope for a new Semester.

Something like that...

Damn this post is long. Thanks for putting up with it. Hope you like the pictures. Took me awhile to find the ones I like. Search em & Grab em.

Happy New Year's Day Everybody! :)

2010

2009-12-26T00:27:00.006Z

NOT exactly... I'm not perfect the way I am... And you're not perfect either. Hell, NO ONE is perfect. But it's our imperfections that makes us the way we are.

Our imperfections makes us perfect. (You may agree or disagree but I don't give a shit)

I do resolutions.. I actually do plan them out every year.. I missed a couple of years since I left school but I think I should bring the habit back. I'm one of them who do a resolution every 6 months because by the end of the first month, I found myself slipping away and forgetting that I even made a resolution. Daft? Pretty much.

The confidence of putting my resolutions down.. penning them on a piece of paper and the adrenaline rush of hope surging through my veins as I dreamed and wished and willed for it to come true is just so exhilarating! Seriously and honestly.. it really is.

And then the month ends... and so did the blood rush.

And then I forget... and kick in my old habits.

What the hell happened there? Why do I (or should I say "WE" to include other quitters as well?) do that??

Damn it.

2010... that is a beautiful number... 2010... that means.. SHIT!! SHIT!! I DIDN'T REALISE IT TILL NOW!!! OH GOSH! DANG IT!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Oh my goodness.. I am going to be joining.. the people with digit "2" in front...

My youth!!! I won't be a TEENager anymore.. I won't ever be a"...TEEN".

2010 is a horrible number. I hate it. I hate growing old. I hate growing up. I hate hate hate it!

I'm going to be... *gulps* TWENTY?? 2-0??? 20!!! I can feel gravity calling me.. calling my face.. my body.. I can feel myself sagging... drooping...

I actually wanted to post my new year's resolution.. but.. after the big realisation hit me stone cold... I just can't bring myself to think about anything else. I am in Denial. I am still a child. 20... People got married younger than that. And here I am. In fear.

How should I greet my coming of age? A big party perhaps? Exam is during my birthday.. hip hip hooraah~ CAN'T WAIT! Now i have two things to think about.. my coming of age.. and my hopefully-not-so-hopeless resolutions...

Till then.. Happy boxing day everybody...

Hugs & Kisses to Home

2009-12-10T12:28:00.004Z

I miss home...

I dreamt of home last night. It was so happy. Which made me even sadder.

You know you never know what you lose until you lose it.

For me, Home is everything. Home is my country. Home is my family. Home is my bedroom. Home is my friends. Home is my food. Home is my culture. Home is religion. Home is faith. Home is my life.

The sad part is that I don't give much hugs or kisses to my home.. I don't appreciate it much. Damn it. I should have. I don't want to regret it before it's too late.

So I just want to give my infinite hugs and kisses to those I miss...

My family.. My friends.. My cat..

To the material that I miss so much, Hugs & Kisses to

My bedroom.. Delicious Food..

I know la bah that I have to study. I know la bah I have to work hard to make a living. But sometimes all I want to be is disgustingly rich and never worry about work or money.

But then, I don't want to be a spoiled brat. I want to be Miss Independent.

Right~

It's so tiring sometimes. But when I think about the people who don't have any access to education... The people who are still living in poverty. It's so selfish of me to want more.

Ok Ok

Thank you God

All I have to do is to prove to myself that I can do this. What doesn't kill you, just makes you stronger.

I'm not dead yet. Everyday is an adventure. I don't want to miss a single day of life. And I'm so grateful with everything that I have here and now.

I just miss home... I just really really really miss home.

Hugs and Kisses to Home...

I LOVE YOU, HOME

What do you wanna be when you grow up?

2009-11-30T22:04:00.006Z

When I was 12, I wondered what it was like to be 19. And now I'm 19, I wonder what it's going to be like when I'm 25... (Insya-Allah) I will graduate around that time. The idea is frightening. Frighteningly cool! It's so scary to think that I'm already a young adult. With so much responsibility in life and on my shoulders now... I just can't help but look back to my childhood innocence when I used to question myself what I wanna be when I grow up...

I have a friend who is already married now. Hope she's happy. It's great that she decided on marriage and settling down. It's great that she met her soulmate so early on in her life. But think about the idea that (probably) 9 months later a mini you/your partner comes out and 2 years later you hear "it" calling you, "Mama..." Damn. Okay. I am not ready for that. No yet. (ever?) I can barely take care of my pet tortoise, let alone myself! I am most definitely in no position to have this serious responsibility right now. I guess for her, now that she's grown up, she wants a family. Fair enough. Absolutely normal. But thats not what I wanna be... not yet anyway. Think Twice...

My family are into science. It's all about medicine, healthcare and science for them. Okay that seriously sounds geeky. Well geeky but true. They're all pretty much in the healthcare section of CareerChoices. I'm glad that they are supportive of my decision to try something different...

I used to wanna be a:

Cardiologist (last resort if all hope fails with the creative design industry)
Stewardess (when I was 9... I decided against it when I was 11, after my sister pointed out that they were pretty much just waitresses 30,000 ft above ground)
Teacher (I don't mind being a lecturer. Because I have the patience to teach...NOT!)
Painter (primary school dreams left me in only primary colours... I still can't paint today)
Musician (the ability to only know how to strum a guitar / know basic chords & basic piano skills doesn't give me enough qualifications to perform in a live gig)
Writer (this I just can't give up. I would love to publish something... but I just can't seem to even decide how the story should even begin let alone find the time to sit and write it)

That was pretty much it. Because by the time I was 11, all I had in my head were these career choices in Preferential Order:

Architect
Doctor
Writer

I'd put the battle for placement 2 & 3 between being a doctor and a writer. The only setback for being a writer was the fear that I won't be able to make enough for a living. I was torn between two while I was in high school... which one to choose? Health Science? Or the Arts? Well, at least I'm half science based because Architecture pretty much is.

Thinking back the times when I was 11... the full-firm decision to be something I've never even knew existed (I seriously didn't know what an architect was before I was 11... my dad brainwashed the idea of studying medicine since before I was even born)... I remember the kicker that kicked me into the realm of buildings. Till today I still don't know what is the name / purpose of that building but I do know that it has similar features to this building:

THE FLATIRON

This angle looks similar to my inspiration. If you've been to KK you'll know what I mean. The pink building opposite Gaya Street. Yea. Who knew? That building wasn't even attractive in most sense. But there it was. It set off the machines in my little brain to start running. I thank the architect whoever he/she is for building it... I wouldn't be where I am today if it were not for him/her.

I like that. I like that simple things in life could actually inspire. In my opinion, people who can't decide what they want to be in life, simply haven't open their minds to the infinite possibilities life has for them... Okay. Well. Maybe there are more reasons to that than that. For example parental issues. In that case... as my sister always says,

"YAKIN! If there is a will, there is a way..."

The latter quote is obviously from someone famous but that's her favourite sentence. And she taught me to believe in myself and to believe in my dreams and to fight for it if I really wanted it. She's proof. She's living and struggling for hers.

Well I love every minute of my suffering. Ironic isn't it? My course is killing me. It alienated me from the world. I have no social life and the stress level is pretty much way up there... but I love it. Now that I've started... I just... I just can't see myself doing anything else except my field. For my career choice... I could be almost anything. Which is cool because it can take me anywhere... For all I know I could venture into the historical side of things and study the history of architecture & such (which is what I'm looking forward to) or I could be a designer and design fashion/products/graphics/etc... cool. There is so much I can do if I graduate successfully. I feel like I have no limit in this world. Is this love? Is this passion? I just feel like I could fly. I don't mind not being the best. I just want to do what I love doing and be where I want to be...

I am happy. And I hope that I stay happy forever. I mean sure the stress and pressure gives me endless suffering and probably lifetime depression (LOL) but deep down... I am so happy... Syukur Alhamdulillah...

I know what I want. I know what I have to do to get what I want. I am 19. In Love with Burning Passion for my Depressingly Stressful choice in life. I'm content with my life & I'm proud to say that I know exactly what I wanna be when I grow up ...

I Banged My Head

2009-11-17T18:11:00.004Z

TODAY was deadline day for the 1st assignment... I am so proud to say that I actually submitted my work on time. Gosh it was such a relief. Honestly I know I am a slacker and I try to postpone every workload I can... Which is seriously a bad thing to do. After my Formal Drawing crit 2 weeks ago, i got a telling that I had to catch up quick. Because 2 weeks ago, I had:

no model
no formal drawings and
no sketches.

Well I did have a few things in hand but they were all wrong... I had to REDO (God I hate that word) everything again. So for 2 weeks my stress level was at the top of my head. I didn't sleep... and I hardly ever eat.

I was sleeping in a different Time Zone. Literally. My body clock thinks its in Suva, Fiji or Anadyr, Russia. For 2 weeks I slept in the mornings and worked late at night. It was only on days with lectures that I slept "normally". All I could think of at the time was how crazily hecticly busy I was...

I was in constant worry whether or not I could finish my work in time. It was scary...

Well, I am so glad to say that:

my model is done (only the roof gap left... but it's ok since I still have to build the site for January's Final Presentation
my drawings are pretty much complete ( i just have to redraw my context and axonometric and also add in some shadows that I know)
My sketches are... well, they're sketches...

I still have a ton of work to do for this 1st assignment before January's final. This submission is only to get feedback from lecturers. They said they completely understand that we missed a few bits and pieces. I think its ok for me to get it wrong the first time as long as I complete my work the best I can. Which I did.

I think I can guess the feedback I'm gonna get later...

Your Formal Drawings do not have shadows in them.
Your context is barely visible... you should have used a softer pencil
Your axonometric drawing has a problem... The roof doesn't look like that...
Fix your handwriting... That is not how an architect should write
Your sketches are jumbled up (but I thought we're suppose to show our train of thoughts *shrugs* who knows~)
You should do more sketching exercises, your sketches seriously need some work on it
You lack sketches... do more!!! (sigh)
Your Hotel California Music to Image assignment... erm... Are you still in High School? Or are you taking the wrong course? (that would be so mean if they actually said that)
Your Text to Image assignment... hmm... looks... incomplete (that's cuz it is -.-)
Your model... where the hell is the site??? (i'm working on it! Hey! Majority of students have no site!)
Your model has so many flaws I just don't know where to begin... (start at the curve -.-)

Who knows what they'll really say... I personally think the worst of my work comes from the Formal Drawing.. I concentrated on making my model for a week and a half. I just did my formal drawings the rest of that 2 weeks which was half of a week. Grueling.

When I got the email from our Year Director saying they postponed submission date to Tuesday, I just jumped and danced for joy. You could smell the desperation...

I skipped all my lectures today to get a good rest. I think I'm coming in with a sore throat.. the effect of staying up late so much. Time is of the essence... Now that I've hanged up my coat for this assignment, I gotta put on my other dusty jacket that I left hanging there since Week 1.... which is my coat for all of my other lectures... Study Study Study... *groans*

GIVE ME A BREAK! I HARDLY SLEPT OR EATEN IN DAYS!

I pay so much for the school fees... and I still have to suffer. Shit.

begitu rupanya bunyi dia...

2009-10-31T01:12:00.004Z

It's 1.12 am sekarang...

I was surfing the net since 11pm. at approx 12am I heard the door of the room above mine closed and the sound of footsteps of people who seem to be in a rush just moving about the room...

I assumed nothing of it.

While I was busy surfing the net and minding my own business, I did notice creaking sounds but i just shove it at the back of my consciousness and thought nothing of it.

An hour later...

Someone made a sound.

and the creaking stopped. rather abruptly.

Ehem. That woke me up. I didn't think about the creaking sounds at the beginning but now that I actually put one and one together... it definitely equaled to a very horny two.

I'm guessing it was a man who made the sound. It didn't sound high pitch.

It kinda grosses me out finally hearing it on my own for the first time...

I heard it once at my sister's place but that guy was having a hand party so the reality didn't really hit me as much as what just happened minutes ago.

For now, there are still noises above...

But it sounds like knocking sounds... i can't seem to describe it well... maybe it's creaking? is it?

I don't know.

But *ehem* wow... okay.

No comment.

Hold on... did the door just open and close or was that a heavy piece of object that dropped on the floor?

My floormate wrote something like this on his facebook wall,

"It's either the workers are back in, or the guy in the room above mine is furiously m*****bating."

obviously it was the workers...

and to answer my previous question, it was a heavy piece of object. Because the unknown/probably-creaking sounds is still goin on strong~

ok enough of this. I'm starting to disgust myself. I hope I can fall asleep fast enough before I hear someone else create more sounds than necessary to make every inch of my hair stand.

That reminded me of the time my brother went into the toilet and heard special noises and it turned out to be TWO GUYS!!! gosh. If it were me, I'll never look at them the same way again...

I think I can explain the footsteps that I'm hearing right now and the heavy piece of object... I think they're moving around the room... like stomping on the ground or something who knows. They're probably too drunk to even know who they're doing it with anyway so might as well stomp the floor while they're at it cuz it sure doesn't annoy the person living below...

nope. It doesn't annoy me.

Have fun you two! Stomp the floor harder while you're at it! Don't make me fall asleep so that I can hear everything you're doing!

erm.. okay~ 5.98 dollars (bundar jadi 6) darab 4 = RM 24. Lol. -.-"

poor dude... college pranks can be so mean...

It's 1.45am and they're still going at it!!

AAARGH!

I find the small sounds of moving furniture and the *creak creak creak* to be very very very irratating!!!

Okay. Where's my mp3? earplugs?

Salut & Good night. Wish me luck.

Daylight Savings & Gap Year

2009-10-25T13:30:00.004Z

What is that anyway? I don't get it. It's so confusing. How does that work? You save and hour... does that mean 25 hours? errr.. NO. then what la? i just dont get how the world works.

lol... before i came to the UK, i was hoping to come across students with "special" desserts... hehe.. but i didn't expect to meet one so soon! Yeah! Roy's housemates are UBER cool! All of them went off for a gap year which just makes them really open minded and well rounded. So yeah, so far they're really cool...

One of his housemate, which is also a classmate of ours, celebrated his birthday last friday. The next day, his housemates were preparing the materials to bake a cake for him. Then the housemate took out a pot from the fridge and proudly smiled to the rest of them room and said, "This is a "special" butter." I was confused so I asked. Then he said as a matter-of-fact, "Well, i put weed in it."

WOAH-NESS!!

Most of them traveled across southeast asia and australia which is seriously seriously cool... one day I'm gonna do that. To them, it's really cheap. But to us... it's friggin expensive. And plus, they seriously have the guts to just get up and go. Like as if there's nothing to it. I wish i could do that...

I'd love to travel...

Oh the sights to see... the places to go... the people to meet... the food to taste... the air to breathe...

Wow... breathtakingly good

My lecturer recommended us to travel. He makes it sounds so easy and so cheap.

Alright! New vision for this year!

TRAVEL NEXT SUMMER!

I was planning on going to Italy with my sister on christmas... we found seriously cheap tickets. but we can't go because the planning is too last minute and too rushing it's just too dangerous. Like I said, we can't just get up and go. As much I wish to do that. But not to worry.. I'll be here for quite some time~ I'll make sure I get my chance :)

23rd Oct 09, Friday, 11.50am, Bedroom,

2009-10-23T11:23:00.006+01:00

Journal entry for the day...Ok. get to the point! Things I gotta do today... :)

Masak my breakfast + lunch + dinner. I plan on Beef Fried Rice today :)
Use my gym membership today (i have to.. i paid a whole load of dough for that)
Avoid the social networking websites today (i'd like to see myself try)
(aduh!) clean my room... urgh... malasnya...
mandi and stuff (adui.. that is like so obvious)
Avoid at all cost from going to YO! Sushi... (sia sia pun sagang)
Cuba sedaya upaya untuk tidak tidur terlalu lama
Get ready for the weekend beh-beh!

I LOVE PHILHARMONIC COURT!!

It's like 5 minutes from campus, 10 minutes from the art shop, 15 minutes from the city centre.

Bars & pubs? There's a really cool pub across the street from my hall. i've never been there before.

Oh btw! I went clubbing sudah! lol...

I don't know if you read my post about me being not antisocial and stuff but yea the very next day was the day I went off clubbing :P It was great. And might I add, no offense to the friends who went with me, they just didnt appreciate the music that was playing that night at all. It was so fun! The music was great! And they? >>> were bored to death.

It was really sad...

Apalagi ya?

Banyak bah my cerita ceriti dis.. but i tia boleh ingat... sebab I baru bangun like an hour ago...

oh ya! Yesterday i went to a pilates class at the uni's gym. It was really nice! It was shocking to find not just one or two but a few guys actually in the class.. i seriously gender-stereotyped the class so it seemed... But yeah. Due to my first ever "strenuous" exercise since like a long long time, my body got into shock and it felt like someone beat my up and left me to die. Ok. I was exaggerating. But you catch my drift.

well.. it's 11.45am sudah now sini... it's 6.45pm in malaysia.. hehe.. as I type these words, I am skyping with my mama.. BONO!! woo.. ehem.

Well, i best be on my way. If i delay my visit to the loo any minute longer, i'll have to get into surgery for stone bladder.

XOXO,

DJaH ♥

Makan ataupun Tidur?

2009-10-20T13:28:00.003+01:00

Mana satu penting?

Makan ataupun tidur?

Argh!!!

Semua pun tidak boleh buat actually...

study yang penting..

Tapi me ngantuk -.-"

dan Lapar...

Jadi...

If I tidur.. I get rest,

If I makan.. I get kenyang,

If I belajar.. tidak gerenti masuk otak (wahahaha!)

ehem.

So in conclusion...

I will

MAKAN SAMBIL TIDUR

TIDUR SAMBIL MAKAN

and then go to class..

shit. I have to get to class.

*groans*

Shelby Lynne - The Killin Kind Lyrics

2009-10-18T02:23:00.002+01:00

I didn't mean to hurt your feelings
It was so careless of me
I guess I've gone and done it
It's just a matter of time
Nothin' I can do but tell you I'm sorry
And that's the hardest part of all

'Cause your love's the killin' kind
Your love's the killin' kind

I'd rather walk on glass
Than see teardrops in your eyes
And I'd fall to pieces just to hold you
The best thing in my life
It's just luck I get to love you
You're the one thing that's right
You're the light in my hell, darlin'

'Cause your love's the killin' kind
Your love's the killin' kind
Oh, yeah

I, I just might cry now
Die, lay down and die now
Why, 'cause you've done it to me
You're puttin' me under

I close my eyes and I sit under the sky
I love you and all it's pleasure
Baby, it feels so right
My arms won't be any use at all
If I can't hold you

'Cause your love's the killin' kind (killin' kind)
Your love's the killin' kind (killin' kind)
Your love's the killin' kind (killin' kind)
Your love's the killin' kind (killin' kind)
Oh, yeah

I'd die, baby
Ooh, I'd die for your darlin'
Just want to say I'm sorry
Oh, I'd do anything
Anything

Oh Kawan...

2009-10-18T02:11:00.003+01:00

*chords G & C strummed slow and consistent*

Sekadar yang mampu,

Sekadar yang perlu,

Aku hanya ingin menjadi seorang insan yang berguna,

Aku tidak inginkan darjat yang tinggi,

Ataupun harta benda,

Aku hanya ingin kehidupan yang sempurna...

Dunia ini tidak selalunya adil,

Dunia kian berubah...

Aku sedar keupayaanku sebagai seorang manusia,

insan Allah,

Perjalanan ini masih jauh,

Perjalananku sukar,

aku tahu,

Rintangan hidupku,

Hanya ditemani bayang-bayang hitam,

Mengekori gerak-geri ku,

Pasir yang ku pijak,

Tapak kakiku tertanam,

Datangnya angin dan lautan,

Bagaikan aku tidak pernah berjalan...

Dunia ini tidak selalunya adil,

Dunia kian berubah,

Pastinya di sana,

Jawapanku menunggu,

Dan aku akan...tenang...

Siapakah aku?

Apakah tujuanku?

Kenapa aku harus hidup?

Kenapa aku harus merana?

Hanya untuk dianiaya,

Oleh mereka yang dipanggil keluarga,

Setiap nafas yang ku ambil,

Aku hanya boleh berfikir,

Suatu hari nanti,

Akan ku cari,

Jawapan kepada soalan persendirian insan,

Yang tulus ikhlas berdiri di antara dua jalan...

Dunia ini tidak selalunya adil,

Dunia kian berubah,

Pastinya di sana,

Jawapan ku menunggu,

Dan aku akan...tenang,

Berdiri sendiri,

Di antara dua jalan,

Janganlah risau,

Oh Kawan...

I'm not antisocial... I just don't feel comfortable

2009-10-09T14:50:00.002+01:00

My social life & status = NIL

O Yeah~

But no. I'm not anti-social. I just don't feel comfortable being in crowds for a long period of time.

It's difficult to be in a crowd where you know you just don't fit in and I absolutely do not agree on making myself look like as if I'm trying too hard.

I'm used to the fact that I hang out with people who speak different languages but hey, I have my limits too okay. I can only smile & pretend dumb for a specific length of time.

There's this issue about me & clubbing. Last night at the heebie jeebies, believe it or not buddy, but that was my 1st ever party. But when the party moved on to a club. I bailed. *honestly, I was sick*

Call me nice, call me naive, call me innocent.

I have my reasons. You generalizing me gives me no problem.

My mood swing is like the titanic. Peaceful & calm at one point, crashed pointblank against an ice berg the next. Climaxed with the ship halved. Gradually nearing its end with a dramatic sacrificial death scene. & End with Rose (me) moving on...

(That was a dramatic comparison)

But anyway the point is that me refusing to go out and hang out and rather being cooped up in my own solitude & bedroom is just me being me. And that's what's comfortable for me.

I don't see the reason why I have to go to a club just cuz everyone is in the club. And so the saying goes, when everyone eats shit, are you gonna eat shit too? so it may seem...

I enjoy dancing even though I look more like a spastic version of a trying-too-hard-madonna-copycat.

I just don't have the urge to enter a club just yet. My friends have been clubbing since they were 14. I have never even entered a club. I stood in line waiting to go in though (a couple of times). I bailed.

All of my reasons were absolutely logical and reasonable and acceptable.

I don't have to make up excuses to leave. I don't even have to explain myself. Because it's simple.

I just don't feel comfortable.

You know about that "hanging out with people who speak diff languages?", I am totally cool with it. But, sometimes, I do find it rude. HELLO?! I do exist you know. I've made a point in my life to not do that to others who can't understand anything other than english/malay and are standing in my circle.

It's just plain rude.

While you're laughing your head off or discussing about something absolutely juicy, that little foreign head wished he/she could actually be included in the conversation.

Trust me. Based on my 1st hand experience. It's never pleasant to put on a smile and pretend like all's well.

There's this kind of sick jealous like feeling that makes you go upset and feel unwanted.

In a party, it's rude not to include every person in the party. Hence the word, PARTY.

So I'm not antisocial when I declined to join my friends to go out at night in town because when you do get your fat ass off the chair and dress up and expect to have some fun, you'll end up simply keeping mum because you couldn't have any input or output out of the entire event.

It's best to stay at home than make yourself look totally terhegeh-hegeh.

I believe in doing things that make me comfortable. I admit I lack the ultimate self-confidence & self-esteem issue. But dude, that shouldn't be the reason why you couldn't just be yourself.

Seriously.

It's best to just be honest with yourself.

I am not embarrassed to admit that last night was my 1st ever party and the fact that I've never clubbed before. I do wish to go someday soon. We'll see how it goes. Maybe the time will come next week :) who knows right? I plan on going to the heebie jeebies again. The live band was amazing. I loved the ambiance and the atmosphere.

Being an introvert makes me happy. I enjoy having a great time with my family and closest friends. I don't have to down alcohol into my throat to go wild. I am perfectly capable of making a dramatic scene and acting drunk without it. I make a pretty good drunk, so I'm told. :P

After leaving Heebie Jeebies, I walked back towards my hall and gosh, the silence... the quietness of the night, the sound of the wind... I could hear so many things at once that it was different from hearing the so many things in the pub.

I'd like to say, "So?" to those who instill peer pressure on others.

A declination does not make you fall into the category of social-retard and even if it does, well, at least you have a mind & voice of your own

Q & A since I dunno how to say the things I want to...

2009-10-09T13:11:00.003+01:00

I wanna say something...

It's at the tip of my tongue and in front of my brain...

But I can't figure out how to say it...

What words should I use?

How's my sentence gonna be?

I'm glad I'm single. (single & mingling). It's just about time I pack my things up and stride.

So, Today's forefront questions are:

"How do you feel today?"

I feel like crap.

"Why so?"

My health is declining at an exceeding rate. The excess baggage is weighing on my shoulders (and clearly proven under my eyes). The amount of pressure (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually) is leading to a brain malfunction. Depression is creeping up like a slow-consistent-purple-gremlin.

"So how did your 3rd presentation go yesterday?"

I'd have to say it went better than I expected. I produced a balsa wood model of my object with only 3 walls erected. Yet the lecturers didn't say anything about me not completing it. I guess their aim was just to see my progress and how I handled my materials. I'm happy that they found my ability to handle balsa to be pretty swell.

"What's this I hear about some after-party?"

Haha! Yeah. Most of my classmates and I went to this pub called Heebie Jeebies. It was great! It was pretty boring for the first 3 hours. It picked up at the last 30 minutes though because then we decided to join the crowd watching the live band downstairs at their courtyard. That was awesome! Might I add betapa kacak dan tampan most of my classmates were. hehe! I'm not eye-ing anyone at the moment. My hands are up and holding the white flag as high as I could for that matter. Ala~ yang tampan dan kacak cuma ada perhatian untuk all the girls yang damn hot.

DUH!

And I have this one classmate. I think he just got together with this girl... cuz i doubt they were together from before, i don't think they were from the same school (but what do i know) and he was ALL OVER HER! and not only was he all over her, THEY WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE! For the entire time we were at the pub, like 3 hours plus, they did nothing but fondling, groping, kissing and well, you get the picture.

Seriously though,

G.E.T.A.R.O.O.M.

Apart from each other's faces, they were hogging the couches! I mean, dude, I've no problem with your PDA-ness except that there are people who need that seat. You guys aren't even socialising or drinking. Just go home. There's plenty of space and plus, there's a bed. Do it there. & close the damn door.

No one wants to see what you're up to.

I was so glad my view of them was obstructed by people. But I did find the bobbing head behind my obstructions to be very distracting (and in a way.. icky)

"So what are you up to today?"

Since my sister cancelled my visit to her place for the weekend due to me being ill, I'm staying home and refusing to do anything other than sleep, eat, drink plenty of water & have regular visits to the loo.

"So how was your 1st week?"

2009-10-02T11:18:00.005+01:00

Everytime I start to blog, I just can't help wondering how's home right now... Oh the wonderful summer weather and heat... I miss it so much. I hate the Peninsula weather, but Borneon weather is wonderful... the rain... the sufficient amount of sunlight... I wish I had danced in the rain before... I don't want to nag about the weather here. I'll just bore you or something. So yea.

First Week!

So far, 1st week is over. I had a presentation yesterday (Thursday).

"No way! It's only been 4 days since your first class!"

Totally WAY man~. It was nothing big really. For Design Communication which pretty much prepares us for the Conceptual Design subject and probably starts on week 7, we were segregated into groups. I got into the group that does Modelling for the first 2 weeks. My friend Roy got Formal drawing. We take turns throughout the 6 weeks. So yea, I got modelling and guess what is my object??? Tadaa >> (F-ing) Automatic Public Toilet. My 1st ever crit session went like a blur. The lecturers talked fast and all at the same time. *Reminder* politely inform the lecturers that you have no idea what they're trying to tell you when all of them are talking at the same time. :) Erm, so far so good. I'm starting to get busy. But hey! at least I only have 4 subjects instead of 8 right? Stupid LUCT. Giving us 8 subjects when we could barely handle 4. So far... the lecturers have been helpful. I'm sure they can be mean and evil during crit sessions but yesterday's crit session was constructive. I guess they know they can't expect much when it's just the students' first week. Well, I did a mock up model. It was nothing really. Seriously simple naked mock up model. And my presentation "board" (if you call 2 sheets of a4 paper and 3 black&white pictures tacked against the wall as a board) was pathetically small and incomplete. A great majority of the students pinned-up their drawings. SCALED DRAWINGS. (-.-) I just had that small "board" and a tiny mock up model. I'm kind of upset that I can't really remember well what the lecturers had said. Why the hell did they have to speak all at the same time???!!! I just got the overall picture of what was commented. Oh well.

Culture class? Hmm... Well, as my close friends can tell you, I L.O.V.E. history&culture. BUT!! I didn't expect to be tested randomly for it. The lecturers told us they will hold "slide tests" which will test our knowledge of history & architecture. They will put up 2 photographs on the slide, and then they'll ask you to compare it. Sounds easy? Here comes the jaw-dropping part. They'll also ask for the name of the architect that built it and the year. JENG JENG JENG. And the architectural era or whatever inspiration it had come from. (-.-) sigh~ Why can't I just write an essay on it instead of being asked on the spot to tell him the answers??? ROAR!!

Construction & Environment. This subject is actually under one title. But they hold 2 diff classes for it. Kinda like Btech in Year 2 Sem 1. So instead of studying the tropical environment like I did in LUCT, i'll be studying the cold and arid weather of the UK... hooray~ (note the hidden sarcasm in that joyful saying)

So how's my lecturers? Lecturers in Lectures are B.O.R.I.N.G. Why do they have this drawling kind of voice and tone that is just so similar to a lullaby?? Seriously, yawning is like inevitable. I yawned over 20 times in 1 hour. Each and every single one of them can put me to sleep. There's this one old man, I call him Mr.Kura-Kura. Because he is SO SLOOOOOWW!! He is seriously an old man. He is a very experienced old man. But the fact is, he is ancient. And from his voice, the way he moves, the way he just does everything is so slow. Maybe I should call him Mr.Snail. But that won't match his ancient-ness or his wisdom. Mr.Kura-Kura it is.

Classmates!

Let's see... My classmates. Our studio hall is a big open planned studio with a lot of bays and drafting tables. Each bay has 6 tables. You can check out

http://www.liv.ac.uk/lsa/facilities/virtual_tour.htm

Erm... I have interesting classmates... Most of them are of course, Orang Putih. There are a few asians. There's a number of other European students as well.. no comment so far for my classmates... It's only been 2 weeks so I don't have any interesting gossips to share about them. So far so good. No fights (yet). I'll just hope for the best really. :) Alright then. That's that.

a short update before I sleep for my 1st day...

2009-09-28T00:06:00.003+01:00

ALRRRRIGHT!

I wonder how's home now...

Dammit!

I haven't been able to write about my entire 1st week of my UK experience... Right, so I wonder when I'll ever have the time... class is gonna start tomorrow

Do forgive me dudes & dudettes~

I didn't have an effing ethernet wire cable so I couldn't connect to the internet here. Well, how was I suppose to know I was to bring one along. I assumed wireless.

Anyway.

Damn I'm beat.

It's like someone just beat me up like bertubi-tubi! woooo... sakitnya my badan.

I had strenous exercise yesterday. Long story. I do plan to tell everything when I have the time. But I seriously have to sleep soon to prepare myself for the early morning class.

I seriously beg and hope and pray that the school here and its' syllabus is nothing like the crap I had back in ehem L***.

Too soon to tell whether the school is good or better or whatever. I just hope it is.

Here are the list of things that I most definitely know will come up within my first few weeks... well the entire semester la:

Boot-Shit-Lickers
Superficiality as the complete cover
Competition at it's MAX
Well-Formed-Cliques (that would probably disband gradually nearing the end of the sem)
Eye-Bags. Loads of em.
Pimples. (unless you drink loads of water!) (oh! & rest! but duh~ that's not gonna happen)

Wah takutnya!!

I'm not scared of the 1st class or whatever. I'm just afraid of 2 things in this friggin world:

TIME MANAGEMENT

DESIGN CRIT

aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My new friend Sam is totally panicking for me.

Thanks Sam. Thanks alot. That calms my nerves.

Okay. I gtg. I'll seriously update soon. Detailing everything... and i literally mean EVERYTHING from Day 1 from the airport! From the point I met James at pavilion! EVERYTHING!

okie dokie

good night and good luck

Dubai International Airport

2009-09-16T02:32:00.003+01:00

I'm in FRIGGIN Dubai

(so what?)

Nothing.. i just want to share that..

funny la i find the internet wifi sini... instead of english, the language and writing turns Arabic. but of course la bah they have to accommodate the people of their country...

Aduh my flight tadi...

A European couple sat next to me... i'm guessing their age range was late 20s early 30s... sweet betul... but that just added to how uncomfortable it was to sit next to them...

Haih... sakitnya belakang...

Lately all i've been doing is fly, fly and fly...

Fly To KL, Fly to KK, Fly to KL, Fly to Dubai...

Next is Fly to Manchester...

sakitnya my belakang!

Oh ya! Tadikan before I left for Dubai, I was at the airport with my dad. Just us two. (I'll blog in more detail about that later, now my laptop low batt. So I'll cut to the chase)

Amelia James met me sana Pavilion (which is ubersweet!)

And then at 11.30pm I got a phone call from Pearle Wong. Seriously it was LITERALLY at the nick of time! I was about to enter the gate to go to the Passport Check-In and then she called me. Memang takdir la.

Then she told me Ain, Faith and Ashilla were coming...

(UBERSWEET!!)

It was such a thoughtful and meaningful gesture it seriously lightened the load of nerves...

*SHIT*

My laptop habis batt.. i sambung later.

Pavilion Street Performers

2009-09-05T14:27:00.005+01:00

I was in the middle of watching 50 First Dates (again) when memory knocked me in the head and reminded me that my mum wanted scones from Pavilion. So... i got my lazy bum off the chair and waltzed down...

Unfortunately out of sheer bad luck, when I stepped on to Pavilion's pavements, I realised my stupidity for refusing to bring my camera along. Because on the blocked road of a renovated street at Pavilion stood a Chinese violinist and a Moscow dancer both performing with daring enthusiasm alongside their trusty boombox.

It was so interestingly cultural, I felt like I was at some overseas country. It was a rarity to see street performers in Kuala Lumpur. It was the first time I saw anything remotely close to what I'd usually see on Hollywood movies. There was once I walked down the road of Sungei Wang on a Saturday night that I saw crowds gathering around mimers "freezing" for entertainment and a few ringgits from generous bystanders.

I was among the many awed struck bystanders whom stayed put for a few minutes to watch the attractive dancer as she danced her way with poise according to the rhythm of the beats. The violinist smiled cheekily as he called on the crowds for support if for any reason the pavilion security found them disturbing the peace of the public. But as he had said, they were rightfully standing on public property, obviously standing on the side with empty traffic. What disturbance could they have offered other than pure entertainment?

I tipped them off a generous rm10 just to show my support for change and also because I wasn't carrying any loose change with me at that moment. haha! I didn't really mind actually. I just hope they don't stop performing. The world knows that through improvements such as broadening our minds to different cultures, we can actually better ourselves in more ways than one. I just hope that by having more of these spontaneous work of art, Malaysia would actually pay more attention to art and culture instead of blindly pushing science ahead without giving anything else a chance. So yeah~ It was a small effort to keep things going.

After i ran my errand, I was disappointed that authority had won over (once again). The street performers were no where to be found and in their place stood a bunch of aimless-looking teenagers just sitting around smoking.

I'm glad I'm going to a place that boasts cultural exuberance... It'll be a breath of fresh air compared to the dull air of science-geeks of my country. In a world where only medicine, (& probably accounting) excels, Art is at it's maximum deprivation.

Just Give Art A Chance!

Lim Kok Wing in Limkokwing

2009-09-03T09:30:00.005+01:00

I met Lim Kok Wing today

Yup. In the flesh.

And no.

It wasn't like the everyday he-passess-by-without-a-word-or-a-glance-while-you-just-sit-or-stare-or-gape-or-couldn't-care-less occasion.

I stood in front of him, smiled, shooked his hand and we chatted for a brief 5 seconds or so.

I am proud to say that at least I have met and talked to the guy.

I was honestly surprised that he was so friendly.

He may not seem approachable but the man was pleasant (at that moment in time)

Haha! Well, what do you expect me to say? I heard some pretty negative stories about the man... I have my reasons to be surprised over his civility.

I stood there opposite him and his minions. There alongside him:

quiet & pretty-blur-looking >> Datuk Parid
a fake-dark-blonde Iranian >> Paula (i think that's what she said her name was)
Loud-mouth-fast-talker-all-smiles >> Fajura

During that moment of slight awkwardness that I felt as I stood there taken aback by the honour,

I felt that amidst the cool and calm composure of the man who owns the globalised university, he kinda gives me the impression that he mirrored my emotions (rather slightly).

Why am I even blogging about this? Is he even someone special or great?

Well, he may not be special, but yeah, I think he is pretty great. I have a lot of friends who bad mouth the guy. I personally don't know him well enough to call him the names that people do...

but i did have a CRAZILY FREAKY NIGHTMARE about him.

It was horrible.

You can ask me about it if you like... but I'll think twice before telling you.

I know James Ting & Roy Ooi loved it. Eew.

I just realized after 2 and a half years of studying in his institution, I never noticed or pondered on the idea that he was a self-made man. I mean yeah, I knew he made his way to the top with barely nothing in his pockets, but the idea that he made himself from nothing to what he is now is pretty fascinating.

At least he did something for his country and himself. He actually made a creative institution when there was none. When creativity was shunned second class after science and the government cared for it less than they do on trivial matters such as these, he at least made a school for the creative-deprived students.

And that I am truly thankful for.

It may not be the best school to be in, but hey! at least its better than none.

I could go On and On and On and On about the flaws of the school.

Which I don't intend on doing right now...

So what was I doing shaking the man's hand and talking for a brief 5 seconds with anyway?

I was there to ironically, drop out from the school.

My dad came along with me.

While I went to the registry (the guy who attended to me was cute~ :P)

he went off to meet Limkokwing himself.

Then he was kind enough to see us to the car.

Which was pretty cool for a man of his stature.

And there...

I stood.

Shook his hand

(and his fellow friends~)

Said a few words.

(hoped it made a lastingly good impression of myself)

Waved goodbye.

and finally...

Drove Off.

You know what I would seriously personally miss about Limkokwing (the school, I mean). I'd say I'll miss the great friendship I made there. They know who they are, I don't have to call their names or list them down here as a Hall of Fame.

I'd also miss the cool lecturers that were hard on me but really taught me alot.

I'd like to give a shoutout to the following lecturers >>>

Ong Pai Ling @ Xin Rong @ XR!!! You Rock Forever! The best design classes and lessons in architecture & life comes from you... Thank you for all your support! Won't let you down!!

Mr. Faisal gosh I was such a rebel towards you... but even after everything, I agree with the seniors when they say that you're a great lecturer. It was the most informative of my degree years. I feel honoured to have studied under you. Your passion for design, perfection of craftmanship and great work will forever inspire me to be a better student and person. :)

Ms. Zatur for the great culture lessons. I totally enjoyed them all. You're the person whom first opened my eyes to my founding passion for Architecture & Culture and for that I am in your debt.

Ms. Suzy Thank you for broadening my view on life and that one should always make time to travel on backpack baby~

Ms. Ummi For your kind words and endless patience... thank you so much!

(Sir) Ernesto Pujazon You're the coolest lecturer so far I've ever met. Not to mention~ the most good looking! Lol! I'll always miss your drawing lessons sir.

Ms. Juida English was great with you! Thank you for believing that I could actually write. You're the bomb!

Mr. Kamran (of UiTM) Every class with you were not only very informative but also very funny. UiTM students are definitely lucky to have you as their lecturer. I will always miss your funny remarks and sarcasm. Lol. Your straight-froward shoot offs taught me alot in improving myself as a student in this field. lol. Hope to see your plays sometime in the future.

I think that's all I'd like to thank... If I do remember anymore, I'll edit the post.

So yeah~ My time at Limkokwing has been a treasure. I went through alot these past 2 and a half years... I've (hopefully) grown more mature and better myself in alot of aspects. But, I'm still young ... still so very young... and I have yet to learn.

To Limkokwing University of Creative Technology:

Sorry for the bad-mouthing

Thank you for the life-changing

Sampai sudah

2009-08-30T11:49:00.003+01:00

Yay! Sampai! :) safe & sound...

Now i'm just gonna wait for buka puasa to happen! hihihi! Crap la... semenanjung is like 1 and a half hour later than Sabah... haiyo...

Buka Puasa Food>>> Domino's Pizza!

One-Three Hundred-Triple Eight-Triple Three~! (1-300-888-333)

Hehe! Nyum nyum... I ordered a scrumptious dinner that's probably gonna last me two days. I hope. Or maybe just tonight if my stomach has room for it all...

On my menu tonight:

1. Meat Mania Classic Hand Tossed

2. Spicy Sausage Crunchy Thin Crust (FAV!)

3. Chicken Lasagne

4. Garlic Cheese Onion Rings (it's part of the coupon.. can't change... onions. eew.)

5. Cheese Dotz

Wow! An entire family's meal all to myself! yay! nasib baik got byk coupon. I just have to pay for one XL Pizza price for all that I bought tonight.

This is what I truly fear here in KL... once I'm here I feel like a free bird... Not in a bad way. A free bird to eat anything I want. I'll just have to control my portions...It's super easy to gain weight which is super dangerous and duh~ super hard to lose the weight. damn. if only la it's the other way around kan bagus. I will live up to the motto of Live To Eat!

According to my watch it's 7.03 pm.. so Maghrib is supposed to be around 7.20... Yay! Can't wait! 800 kCal in 1 slice of pizza... :P gosh! 3000kCal to be gained tonight! high five!

Short Break

2009-08-29T19:39:00.004+01:00

*Stretch*

I'm going to KL today... at 12.30 pm. So, as usual last minute packing.

I hate air asia for only letting a maximum 15kg per person. Oh well, that's what you get for cheap.

My accompaniment right now at 2.40 am is the entire contents of My Music folder.

I wonder if you can bring alot of liquid on board in ur hand luggage. I tried it before but not this much...

I can't wait!! America is practically 24 hours later than Msia so I'll only get to watch Season 2 Episode 11 of True Blood tomorrow or on Tuesday... wooooo...

*pause*

Haha! I spent half an hour playing facebook... -.-"

Well, short break over... continue facebooking... ehem... PACK!

Legally Blonde

2009-08-26T04:26:00.005+01:00

"Woods Comma Elle"

"Elle Woods... Welcome to Harvard"

Everyone didn't take her seriously just because she was a Blonde with Big Boobs. Her dumb boyfriend dumped her because he thought in order to be a senator, he needed a Jackie and not a Marilyn. Ouch! And the rest of Harvard? Well, they pretty much think she's a joke.

(If she truly is a joke, If she's not smart enough, how did she get into Harvard?? Seriously.)

Not to mention the bitch in class who just so happens to be her ex's current Fiance~ well. Double Ouch.

But even though she was the most popular girl in her college, growing up in Beverly Hills, beautiful rich and smart, Elle is so charmingly humble. I mean if she wasn't, she wouldn't be friends with Paulette, a high school drop out, working at a Mani-Pedi, who thinks she's pretty Damn Spastic. Agreed.

She didn't have friends in Harvard but it sure didn't kill her buzz of positive attitude in life. She pushed herself forward with confidence and esteem. She wasn't afraid of what people think of her vibrant coloured outfits against their boring pastel. She couldn't care less about the mean things jealous people say. Jealous people say mean things because they're Jealous.

What mattered to her was studying hard and getting what she wants. And that is to be a Lawyer. Who would ever put together a Fashionable Blonde + Law? Exactly. No one believed in her. There was a quote that goes something like this, "Believe in yourself when others do not". Elle Woods is most definitely the epitome of it.

Who says you can't be in style while studying something as boring as law? (no offense to my friends who're taking law)

In the end, guess who's walking down the Red Carpet?

Lessons Learnt From the Movie

Do Not Fear to Be Yourself
You Don't Have To Succumb To Peer Pressure. Be True To Yourself
If Your Aim Is To Make Someone Else Be Happy, You'll End Up Miserable
Be Friendly To The Bitch Against You
Stand Up For Yourself Because No One Else Would
If You Set Your Mind To It, You Most Definitely Can Do It!
Humility & A Smile Goes A Long Way

Today I Ponder

2009-08-25T14:06:00.004+01:00

I question my own existence. Therefore, i back Descartes theory. It's so confusing. Everything is so complex. Or maybe i just think too much like everyone says I do.

I think, therefore I am.

Pretty deep. I'm currently reading the Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus. Gosh. The words are never ending. A sentence could last an entire half page. Repetitive. Camus seems detemined to prove his point over the absurdity of life.

The book discusses the philosophical idea of suicide.It was inspired by the myth of the man condemned to ceaselessly push a rock up a mountain and watch it roll back to the valley below. It's written with impassioned arguments for the value of life in a world without religious meaning.

It's so interesting the way Camus writes about the world that revolves around us. How he stamps absurd in everything. I like what he says in this paragraph,

"...and during every day of an illustrious life, time carries us..."

He said that time was the mathematics that pushes us forward to age and most of us hardly stop to see or count the days or the ages and in the end, we let it take over until we reach the part of our lives where we could hardly turn back again.

"...We live on the future: 'tomrrow', 'later on', 'when you have made your way', 'you will understand when you are old enough'..."

"...Tomorrow, he was longing for tomorrow, whereas everything in him ought to reject it..."

I don't know how many times I've told myself, "I'll do it tomorrow. In the morning. One last time. I'll stop next week. I'll start next month." and the list goes on with excuses.

Of course I think Camus was referring to "Tomorrow will be a better day than today. I'll commit suicide tomorrow." or whatever. The point is that. Procrastination in everyday life is absolutely inevitable. You seriously need self control in life. The determination to push yourself further ahead than you ever had before.

It's all about Mind over Matter. The Slave should not control the Master. Everything is easier said than done. I can go on talking about how important it is to have self control, discipline etc etc, but if your mind is weak, how could you even start?

That's why there exists the infamous term >> N.A.T.O. (No Actions Talk Only)

Procrastinators are big on this. I have to agree. I happen to be one. And it sucks to be one. And here i am contradicting myself. I'm not so sure how I'll be handling myself later in the future but I seriously hope and I seriously want to just get it off.

Do you ever ponder on your existence? On how small you are on earth? How micro you truly are compared to the existence of the universe? How anyone can not believe in a Higher Power is beyond me. For me to even question my existence proves the existence of not only myself but a also a Higher Power whom have created my thoughts for me question it in the first place. It's wonderful.

How a germ, which you cannot see with your eyes can infect you and kill you within hours. And dare they say it is nature? Who built nature? Who built thought? Who built this all? It's so wonderful. Of course I know the answer to all that. But do you? Do you know who build it all? Who starts it may end it any day in any way.

Life is too short as they say it. I have yet to discover life and experience it to the fullest. I want to step out from this suffocating shell of fear and doubt and self loathe and just be a TangoDiva (name of a website for solo woman travellers)

What is stopping me from all of this? What is stopping me from going forward? Well.. I have yet to find my very own version to the Answers of Life... When I've compiled it, I'm sure to let you know. Till then.

Bulletproof Methods to get over Creativity Block

2009-08-25T13:52:00.003+01:00

This is a GREAT article I found from smashing magazine. It's not the full article. If you want to read the whole thing, click on the title, it'll link you to the site. Now all I gotta do is apply these methods instead of lazing around waiting for something to happen.

How to get started? How to get things done till the deadline? What is a bulletproof method to get a new creativity spark? World leading designers not always know the answer, and many answers are quite obvious — however, not all of them.

2.1. Change the perspective: go away.

Go someplace “different” from your usual haunts, away from places where you take every object, interaction or decoration for granted. Ride your bike or take a walk through back alleys, unfamiliar neighborhoods or industrial areas. Bring a few old magazines picked up at a flea market or yard sale (maybe circa 1920s-1960s) and take a break to page through them. Make notes. Sketch. I am always surprised how much inspiration I get from things completely unrelated to the problem I am trying to solve.
[Bill Keaggy]
Go for a walk outside. My office sits a block from a river, and if I just can’t think of anything to do, taking a walk along the bank clears out my head every time.
[Steve Smith]
Get out more. There’s beautiful design all around us that we take for granted every day; we just need to open our eyes a little more when searching for inspiration.
[Oliver Beattie]
Spend time in nature. Alternately, simply wandering around the city without any particular destination does wonders.
[Adam Greenfield]
Step away from the computer. Go for a walk, head to the gym, or just sleep on the problem. You’ll come back refreshed and with a new outlook on the task at hand.
[Andy Budd]
In my case stepping away from the computer is often the answer. Sometimes I believe that computers literally suck the creativity out of us. I find going for a walk, flicking through a magazine or visiting a gallery far more stimulating than surfing the latest web design gallery. I believe looking beyond web design for inspiration does more to aid innovation and creativity than anything else. I don’t believe there is one bulletproof method of overcoming creative block. We are all different and our creativity is expressed and stimulated in different ways.
[Paul Boag]
Take a walk. For me, getting away from the screen can be very refreshing. Have you ever had a problem that you can’t fix, walked away from it, and then come back and fixed it straight away? Same principle.
[Andy Peatling]
Walk away from your computer and leave your PDA at home - sometimes all you need is a new perspective.
[Larissa Meek]
Replace your current environment/surroundings with something new and fresh. If that means changing your location, do it.
[Dan Rubin]
There are no bulletproof methods, but one that often works for me is going for a walk outside.
[Jason Santa Maria]
The 11th hour is surprisingly effective at inspiring some unique work. Often though, the first thing I do is create a skeleton template and begin hacking at it for about half-an-hour. If that doesn’t work, I’ll grab a coffee down the street.
[Craig Saila]

2.2. Change the perspective: do sport.

Go for a long walk, better still, a run. Having to focus on something else for a while will get the creative juices flowing again.
[Mark Boulton]
Sport as a displacement activity. Go to the gym, go for a run, go for a swim, or in my case I go for a bike ride. Half an hour’s normally enough to empty the mind of panic and fill it with that spark you need.
[Richard Rutter]
Don’t leave one screen to go sit in front of another and watch TV. Go workout, take a run. Or do some errands. Just do something active for at least an hour that does not require you to think about work or look at your crackberry.
[Nick Francis]
What helps for me is to do some sport to clear my head or to leave the office and go out in nature to sit their for awhile. Both things aren’t bullet proof.
[Veerle Pieters]

2.2. Get inspired: read and look around.

Be a continuous feedback loop. That means continuous input: reading books and blogs, attending talks and conferences, using the medium you design for. It also means continuous output: writing books and blogs, speaking at conferences, designing.
[Luke Wroblewski]
Get up and leave your computer. If you are looking for a good book on inspiration, I’d recommend Curt Cloninger’s “Hot-Wiring Your Creative Process”. I hate the title and the cover, but the book’s a gem.
[Carolyn Wood, Editor in Chief of Digital Web Magazine]
Look through galleries of design online, in books, or in real life.
[Mike Davidson]
I find that music, art, and design magazines are very inspiring, so that’s where I always turn.
[Jina Bolton]
Research. Two places I like to look for inspiration: magazines and architecture. Make a trip to the bookstore or to the library and just flip. Look at how they present information and structure the design. Then, integrate those elements into your own design.
[Jonathan Snook]
Looking around websites, design books, magazines. I have a wide range of website screenshots that I look through before starting design projects. Some would call this “stealing”. I prefer the term “inspiration”. :)
[Russ Weakley]
Collect inspirational design and go back and look through it. There’s a reason I started my Web Design Inspiration set on Flickr a while back, and it wasn’t for fame or fortune (I’ve gotten a tiny bit of the former, but I assure you, none of the latter). Sometimes, when I need some ideas, I’ll just browse through all of those screenshots I’ve taken, and something will just click. When you look at inspirational design, it makes you want to go out and create something cool.
[Patrick Haney]

2.3. Listen to music.

Pick up a guitar and strum a view chords (at least this works for me). You might instead want to take a short walk or have some diner but the point is: stop working. Even just 5 minutes of doing something totally different gives the distance you need. Coming back to my Mac it’s often clearly visible what to do next.
[Markus Stefan]
Listen to music. Music is an equal blend of emotion and analysis. If you let yourself be inspired by it, you’ll often be astonished at the results.
[Daniel Mall]

2.4. Observe the world.

Go lie down in the park and just stare at the world. I find that once let my mind truly relax and forget about things like the bills, calling my Mom back, and the rest of it all — suddenly my creativity kicks into overdrive.
[Kyle Neath, Warpspire.com]
Go somewhere that you can observe creativity in a different aspect than your day-to-day environment. For instance, go to a museum or a attend a play. Gain an appreciation for artfulness beyond the confines of your profession, and this will breathe new life into your work.
[Nathan Smith]
Take a deep breath, stand up from your computer, and go somewhere you’ve never been before — a cafe, an exhibition … Prague.
[Cameron Adams, Themaninblue.com]

2.5. Do something entirely different.

Drop what you’re doing and find a happy place. Whether it’s listening to music, reading a book or playing a video game. Whatever will get your mind off of work temporarily and give you time to yourself that you thoroughly enjoy. When you sit back down in front of the screen, you should feel refreshed and ready to jump back in.
[Matt Brett]
Take a long shower and get yourself a cup of coffee… just do something completely different.
[Wolfgang Bartelme]
Do something else entirely. Look at things that have nothing necessarily to do with web design. Get inspiration off-screen. I have a quarter-sized basketball hoop in my office, and if I’m stuck on something, I’ll shoot hoops and let my mind wander and quite often something useful will pop in there at some point.
[Ryan Masuga]
Just do the complete opposite. Don’t fall into the trap of following current trends or gallery websites. To maximise creativity and different thought patterns, find other sources that may inspire or invoke an idea. Such sources could be simply taking a walk, photography or looking through different types of magazines.
[Ian Main]

2.6. Seek for a new approach.

Sketch as you go.Take some pencil and paper, go somewhere you feel comfortable, and brainstorm ideas. Sketch as you go. I usually come up with my best ideas when I am far away from a computer screen.
[Christian Montoya]
Beat favourite sites in simplicity.
Copy your favorite website and beat the original in simplicity.
[Oliver Reichenstein, Informationarchitects.jp]
Start over.
If I’m stuck on some element of a design, chances are that I’ll agonize over the element for hours when it’s really something else in the design that isn’t working. Continuing to try to make it work at that point is like putting lipstick on a pig. When I get to that point, it’s best to just start over with a blank canvas.
[Jason Beaird]
Consider what would other designers do?
Something that I’ll do is think to myself, “what would ___ (insert favourite designer’s name here)___ do in this situation? How would they handle the design of this nav? Would they use 2 or 3 columns for this layout? When I start asking those questions, ideas immediately start coming to mind and ideas start flowing.
[Jesse Bennett-Chamberlain]
Design from the inside out.
[Lucian Slatineanu]
Observe other people using a similar service you’re designing.
Watch a few people using a competing or similar service to the one you’re designing. Users have an infinite capability to astound you with unexpected behaviors that will give you ideas for things to do on your own project.
[Jakob Nielsen]
Refresh your canvas.
Design Slumpbusting
My favourite one from that article: “Lose the lorem-ipsum: Looking at a page template that has the same mundane text on it that you’ve seen on a bajillion other page-templates over the years will lead you to think that your page will be no better than mundane, either. When context is lacking, content is king.” [Phil Renaud]

2.7. Put creative work on hold.

Just get something down without worrying whether it’s perfect or a great start. Once you erase a blank canvas, it gets easier to move forward.
[Meryl K. Evans]
Put the task or project down and either take a break from work altogether or perform some tasks that require no creativity (like bookkeeping or organization tasks) and distract your conscious mind from the challenges. Later return to the task, make a simple list of objectives and start working again to address the creative problem by creating elements that solve the respective problems (divide and conquer).
[Frederick Townes]

2.8. Communicate.

Go off the grid. Talk to human beings. In person. Do something out of the ordinary, out of character. Give your brain a chance to regroup and hit it with some fresh stimuli.
[Shaun Inman]
Definitely getting up on one’s feet, making a cup of tea, and gathering colleagues or the client team together and getting it all out into the open. A creative block is nearly impossible to shift if one works in a vacuum, so throw sketches, wireframes, magazines and books onto a big table, and open a discussion about the aims and objectives. The very, very last thing I think anyone should do is browse the web when struggling with web design or development inspiration. Get away from the screen and find it elsewhere![Simon Collison]

2.9. Train your creativity.

Force yourself to *do* something creative every day. It can be anything: writing, drawing, shooting photos, etc. The idea is to get into the habit of being creative every day.
[D. Keith Robinson]
I can’t say what will work for others, but what works for me is lots of hard exercise. The longer I try to get “into” a creative project, the more I dwell on detail and begin to miss the forest for the trees. Technical design elements are not creativity and I like to step way out of the creative process into a very physical process in order to get back into creative thinking from the outermost extremity and with the right perspective.
[Andy Rutledge]
Hah! You’re asking the wrong person. I would like to have something that works every time, but I don’t. What I try to do when I get a creativity block of some kind is force myself to just get started. That often helps.
[Roger Johansson]
In case of doubt, jump! Hey, I don’t say it’s easy (I near panic every time), but since we are problem solvers, there is a moment when we temporarily become the ‘problem’ because facing this new challenge.Start working! That’s it! And everything we did in preparation (research, brief objectives) will start to fall into place.. at some point. But if you freeze and stare… good luck. NOTHING, will be the end-result.
[Carole Guevin, Netdiver.net]

2.10. Relax.

Do something relaxing. “Relaxing” is different for everybody, but for me that creativity block is usually self-imposed because I’m trying to hard. My best ideas never come to me when I’m looking for them. They just kind of sneak up on me when I’m doing something else.
[Garrett Dimon]